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Nick
Member
USA
14 Posts |
 Posted - 09 Oct 2009 : 7:25:01 PM
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So, I thought I was a nine with a one wing for the last couple of years, when I was introduced to the enneagram, but now I'm wondering about my type...
I'm extremely self-conscious and my own worst critic, kind of fourish, it seems and have a very negative self-image, it seems.
However, I seem to have the optimism,accomadation, and trustworthyness of a nine; not to mention that people around me use words like calm and mellow to describe me, again, ninish...however,
Also, i seem to live in my own head too much, and don't think I'm particularily good at anything, except writing.
I sometimes think I could be a phobic 6w5 mistyping as a 9w1, because I've never trusted myself and thus looked to institutions/individuals for validation quite often...
So, I'm just looking for some feedback, anything would be helpful....I hope I've made some sense with the above...thanks in advance for any responses... |
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manda7panda
Member
178 Posts |
Posted - 09 Oct 2009 : 7:36:57 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Nick
Also, i seem to live in my own head too much
And what's going on in there, in your head? To generalize broadly, average Fours are most apt to be amplifying their woes and romanticizing feelings of sad isolation; average Nines are most apt to be creating a little inner Eden or blissed-out haze and keeping a sense of safety through isolation; Sixes are most apt to be imagining potential catastrophes that they fear could happen in real life. These are broad generalizations but might help you some.
2w1 - ENFP |
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Nick
Member
USA
14 Posts |
Posted - 09 Oct 2009 : 8:25:32 PM
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I suppose, in my head, I seem to be berating myself about stuff that is not as bad as I think it is. Although I don't think I'm a four, since I'm not a loner, and don't seek to explore my emotions or the different parts of my personality.
I am open to thinking I may be a fourish nine. The type of nine with whatever social variant it is that contributes to fourishness. Especially since I'm good a synthesis, and kind of, well, fun and goofy, at times, but also, dark and negative about myself, anyway... |
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Nick
Member
USA
14 Posts |
Posted - 09 Oct 2009 : 8:29:56 PM
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thanks for your response, by the way. The big thing, I think, that would mean I'm not a nine, is that I don't really have that inner sanctum of happiness. Just a lot of negative self-talk.
However, I find that I'm very open and accepting like a nine, and not snobbish or iconoclastic like a four would be, sometimes.
The fact that I still can't decide what type I am would point to a nine. |
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goodmourning
Member
228 Posts |
Posted - 09 Oct 2009 : 8:44:28 PM
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| I can't speak for 9's, but isn't that inner world, not a world of happiness, but of denial of negativity? |
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Nick
Member
USA
14 Posts |
Posted - 09 Oct 2009 : 9:00:04 PM
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| Good point good mourning. I can relate to that, as I've done it in the past in major situations. I'm also, very diplomatic and anti-conflict, however, I can't tell if those are qualities that point to nine, or if I'm that way beccause of fear/anxiety and/or sensitivity. |
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Nick
Member
USA
14 Posts |
Posted - 09 Oct 2009 : 9:17:12 PM
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Just to add a point or two,
My thought process isn't as dark and macabre as it seems like a fours is. If anything, I think I'm more like a nine, where, "life may not be a movie, but that doesn't stop the Nine from thinking so".
However, I just don't know if a nine would be as uncomfortable in their own skin, or have a lack of identity like I seem too. That seems like maybe I'm a wannabe nine, it terms of being optimistic about everyone else, but then very critical of myself, which may just be my one wing; but anyway...
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bear
Member
USA
4072 Posts |
Posted - 10 Oct 2009 : 09:51:27 AM
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You seem pretty 9ish. I don't think 9s have an inner blissful sanctum, they are often pretty negative about themselves. One of the differences is that 4s compulsively amplify the negativity, where 9s try to reframe it. 4s will also amplify what is good about them, or what they identify with, and 9s generally have a harder time with that.
6 v 9 - do you look to institutions for support or validation? |
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yhdeksas
Member
142 Posts |
Posted - 10 Oct 2009 : 10:17:47 AM
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And what's the problem Nick? Lack of identity, self-esteem problems, negative self-image, criticism... these problems are often experienced by Nines (I'm supposing that the wing is 1, not 8). Not talking just about my own experience, but you can read the descriptions, and there's no need to be Einstein to conclude what I said before. Let's state some other facts
*When unhealthier, connection to 6 and anxiety problems raise.
*Nines are withdrawns, it's not strange if they 'live in their heads', or something similar.
*There's no condition that says that you have to feel happy all the time to be a 9. Keep in mind that averages Nines experience 'false inner peace'. It's like 8s, who act so agressively because they feel weak and vulnerable deep down. And like the remaining 7 types, in the average and unhealthy levels they're imitating their virtue, but they don't really control that virtue.
*If you feel pain, there's an easy way to see the difference between being a Four or a Nine. For example, Fours remain attached to their painful and sad feelings, trying to experience them deeply, and then constructing their identity. If you're a Nine, then you'll probably not feel them very deeply. For example: if something bad happens to me, then there exist 2 possible reactions. 1) I try to don't care (repression) 2) If repression doesn't work, then I'll probably start running in circles. This means that I obsessively think about it, and I can express a lot of feelings and whatever in my head or alone. But then, the goal is: getting rid of the problem and those negative feelings, but without going really deep into them or taking action in the real world. Besides, thinking repeatedly of the same helps to reduce its intensity and after some time it doesn't mean anything anymore, like a film you've seen 500 times.
There are thousands of other facts, but I think this may already help you.
SP/SX E9 |
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yhdeksas
Member
142 Posts |
Posted - 10 Oct 2009 : 10:28:21 AM
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quote:
*If you feel pain, there's an easy way to see the difference between being a Four or a Nine. For example, Fours remain attached to their painful and sad feelings, trying to experience them deeply, and then constructing their identity. If you're a Nine, then you'll probably not feel them very deeply. For example: if something bad happens to me, then there exist 2 possible reactions. 1) I try to don't care (repression) 2) If repression doesn't work, then I'll probably start running in circles. This means that I obsessively think about it, and I can express a lot of feelings and whatever in my head or alone. But then, the goal is: getting rid of the problem and those negative feelings, but without going really deep into them or taking action in the real world. Besides, thinking repeatedly of the same helps to reduce its intensity and after some time it doesn't mean anything anymore, like a film you've seen 500 times.
I just realized that, reading this, apart from the difference 9 and 4, you can make a difference between 9 and 5 / 9 and 6 too. 5s would probably disengage of their feelings to analyze the problem from a 'logical' perspective. 6s would react against some inminent catastrophe and they would probably do something (and the 'do something' is often missing when you're a 9).
SP/SX E9 |
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manda7panda
Member
178 Posts |
Posted - 10 Oct 2009 : 12:31:24 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by yhdeksas
Keep in mind that averages Nines experience 'false inner peace'. It's like 8s, who act so agressively because they feel weak and vulnerable deep down.
I see this with my 9w1 coworker. She told me she highly values her inner peace, yet I see her being un-peaceful a lot of the time. It's like she's not really succcessful at blocking out the negative things, but she still has all her eggs in that basket (trying to block them out).
quote:
I can't speak for 9's, but isn't that inner world, not a world of happiness, but of denial of negativity?
From observing my coworker, I can't see that she differentiates between those. Even though I surely would.
About negative self-talk - self-deprecation definitely seems to be part of the mix in my coworker... maybe her 1-wing contributes to this, but it comes across to me almost as if having a poor opinion of herself were a moral requirement. It's not harsh self-beating as far as I can tell (might be inside, I don't know) - to me it comes across as just a vague sense of being nothing much. She doesn't come across as thinking she is something bad, so much as just thinking she's not anything good.
quote:
Besides, thinking repeatedly of the same helps to reduce its intensity and after some time it doesn't mean anything anymore, like a film you've seen 500 times.
Interesting... in contrast, my 4w5 husband used to use the numerous-mental-replay as a way to increase the thing's intensity. Makes me think this might give you a clue on the 4 vs. 9 thing... whether replaying events in your mind makes them seem less real/intense, or more real/intense.
Nick, not all Fours are focused on the dark and macabre, but there is often a sense of intense longing... the longing has almost a poetic (or pseudo-poetic?) feel to it... like how the rest of us might feel near the end of a tragic romance movie... it's like a longing for a lost love... I suspect it's deep down a longing for how things should have been, a yearning for the possibility of perfection experienced in the Four's early childhood experience of Oneness (that is, the Four's early experience of the connection to type One). (Side note about perfection, following the "lost love" image... I get the impression that Ones are forever trying to resuscitate perfection while Fours are forever mourning its passing and raising memorials in its honor. Comments on this from Fours and Ones?)
2w1 - ENFP |
Edited by - manda7panda on 10 Oct 2009 12:35:47 PM |
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Nick
Member
USA
14 Posts |
Posted - 10 Oct 2009 : 12:45:06 PM
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Thanks for the replys bear, y, and panda...I really appreciate them all...Yeah, I think I'll just settle with 9.
Overall, I seem to correspond more to the Nine than four.
And there is that one social variant that produces a fourish nine...which sounds like me. I think I'm just too accepting, and non-iconoclastic, as well as overall optimistic to be a four.
As an aside, the person who introduced me to the enneagram was chatting with me when I mentioned that I could really relate to the scene in "Lost in Translation" when Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansen are sitting in the chill-out room at the club and just sitting there. That just strikes me as an exammple of the nines comfort seeking, as done by a 9w1, Sophia Coppala.
Also, not realizing one's potential/abilities seems ninish, and that is me. Well, thanks again everyone for the detail and attention paid. |
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Classi
Member
331 Posts |
Posted - 10 Oct 2009 : 12:54:15 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by manda7panda
my 4w5 husband used to use the numerous-mental-replay as a way to increase the thing's intensity
2w1 - ENFP
I do this all the time. It's always to extract every last drop of emotional juice. NOSTALGIA is my biggy. I feel that I lost something long ago when I compare the happy talkative emotionally expressive kid I was before SOMETHING happened; gosh us fours are so vague and we often expect others to understand things about ourselves that we don't even understand ourselves. I'm trying to remember whether there was anything oneish about my early childhood that I'm nostalgic for. I remember the world of my childhood as perfect, and very magical. I liked how mysterious the world was and how hungry I was to learn. That ravenous hunger for knowledge combined with an energising enthusiasm for discovery is dearly missed.
But definately I'am nostalgic for a true self that I feel I lost forever.
Also, alot of my mental replay is to analyse. How did I come accross to that person? What has been consistent about myself throughout my life? What did I used to believe about myself that I no longer do now  |
Edited by - Classi on 10 Oct 2009 12:56:19 PM |
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Nick
Member
USA
14 Posts |
Posted - 10 Oct 2009 : 12:56:18 PM
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The problem, as someone asked, is that I've been unhealthy for the last few years and am stuck in indecision in terms of a career path/lifes calling kind of thing, as well as a deep concern that I won't live up to my potential and that I may have wasted too many opportunities to realize said potential. I can relate to some of the negative points in Wisdom of the Enneagram, and Personality Types about Nines,
"wasting a lot of time daydreaming, doing nothing", and "being a slave to sensory impulses".
When I mentioned living in my head too much I meant being too self-conscious and nonproductive. I also meant that I don't really have that ninish ability to view onesself objectivley, or from a third person perspective...I don't realize how I come off sometimes...in other words.
That felt good just to say that...thanks for reading and helping out everybody. I really appreciate it...hope I'm not too much of a bother...maybe I'll post more often on other stuff... |
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dfgray44
Member
USA
6546 Posts |
Posted - 10 Oct 2009 : 2:26:41 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Nick
... I don't really have that ninish ability to view onesself objectivley...
That's not a 9-ish trait. Many 9s (maybe most) can't type themselves. This, in itself, indicates the lack of a certain kind of objectivity. [9s generally do better looking at others.]
Also, most 9w1s are INFPs - which, among other things, equates to an unconscious attitude of 'Anything is possible'. So, defining abstract forms within the self is like trying to pin down a cloud.
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Edited by - dfgray44 on 10 Oct 2009 2:27:34 PM |
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yhdeksas
Member
142 Posts |
Posted - 10 Oct 2009 : 2:30:12 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Classi
I feel that I lost something long ago when I compare the happy talkative emotionally expressive kid I was before SOMETHING happened;
Haha, I don't know if I really feel that I lost something long ago, but actually I lost something for sure. I was that kind of kid too, and now, this is what I am (well, you haven't seen me, but imagine). When I remember how I was as a kid, and I see myself right now, I see two different persons. That kid must have died in an accident or something.
SP/SX E9 |
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yhdeksas
Member
142 Posts |
Posted - 10 Oct 2009 : 2:32:01 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by dfgray44
quote:
Originally posted by Nick
... I don't really have that ninish ability to view onesself objectivley...
That's not a 9-ish trait. Many 9s (maybe most) can't type themselves. This, in itself, indicates the lack of a certain kind of objectivity. [9s generally do better looking at others.]
Also, most 9w1s are INFPs - which, among other things, equates to an unconscious attitude of 'Anything is possible'. So, defining abstract forms within the self is like trying to pin down a cloud.
********* / *
Ah, yes, I was going to answer the same, but I forgot. I also think that Nick has confused. That sounds like a Five's trait. But I don't know if "objectively" is the right word, because I think that an average 5 is rather subjective.
SP/SX E9 |
Edited by - yhdeksas on 10 Oct 2009 2:37:02 PM |
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Nick
Member
USA
14 Posts |
Posted - 10 Oct 2009 : 3:02:08 PM
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Ah, I was waiting for you Gray. I thought you'd be around sooner or later :)
I can somewhat relate to the example of the kid losing SOMETHING, although, with me, I feel like I was always waiting for a sense of well-being/confidence/security with myself that other people magically just had, or appeared to have.
That was my "something" that I'm still searching for, in part anyway. That part of the reason I like the enneagram.
Kind of like the four's envy; the "looking in a window at the happy family inside and wanting that". |
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9angel
Member
35 Posts |
Posted - 07 Nov 2009 : 5:48:04 PM
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Hi Nick. I'm wondering what the self-criticism is around? If it's around "doing" and not knowing what to "do" and "not *doing* enough", that sort of thing, I'd say you're probably a 9 struggling with what a lot of 9s struggle with. Here's a link to a discussion you might find insightful:
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/Forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=22668
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Kellay
Member
USA
67 Posts |
Posted - 08 Nov 2009 : 01:34:49 AM
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| You might be a FIVE. Check into that and see if it sounds like you. |
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Could I be a Nine?
