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bobloblaw
Member
3 Posts |
 Posted - 03 Nov 2009 : 6:45:33 PM
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| How does jealousy (of people perceived as talented in areas that fives value and aim to improve in themselves) manifest itself in fives? |
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awakening
Member
USA
1761 Posts |
Posted - 03 Nov 2009 : 8:04:42 PM
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| My experience has only ever been of admiration for those who I perceive as similarly talented in my fields of endeavor. There has also been the tendency to debunk others' prestige, making them out to be overrated, but this only occurs in me when I actually find the person's image inflated beyond the substance. Usually I have a great deal of respect and awe for worthy colleagues, peers, competitors, mentors, and so forth. |
Edited by - awakening on 03 Nov 2009 8:05:33 PM |
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mariposa119
Member
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - 03 Nov 2009 : 8:58:38 PM
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Speaking for myself, I do feel a lot of jealousy when I know that someone I consider a peer or competitor does well. I certainly feel happy for them, but there is jealousy there.
In my own case, I find myself rationalizing their successes over mine. For example, in school when students would do better on exams than I would in classes that I enjoyed or typically did well, I would think, "Well, they're affluent and don't have to work part-time, so they had more time to study" or something like that. I tend to attribute their success to other factors, rather than because they are smarter than I am, or something like that.
Jealousy like this also makes me wish to find another niche where I can excel. So, if I find myself feeling jealous of others' performances in one subject, I would channel some energy to another area where I could out-perform them. I have a lot of 9 in me, so I have trouble with direct competition, and this may be part of that!
5w6 |
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goodmourning
Member
228 Posts |
Posted - 03 Nov 2009 : 9:18:38 PM
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There's also jealousy of the social success seen in others.
When people perform better for me in college, I rationalize that they are better at the conventional educational system than me, or that I'm intelligent in more of a right brained way.
The social jealousy is definitely much more severe. |
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marie
Member
4292 Posts |
Posted - 03 Nov 2009 : 9:27:27 PM
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| Wow...I agree (more or less) with awakening. My first inclination is to think that someone's success is a result of their ability to play the game. (They are superficially successful.) This is often the case actually. But, if someone is truly gifted and "better that me" I mostly find myself attracted to them. I fall in love. |
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mariposa119
Member
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - 03 Nov 2009 : 9:31:17 PM
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I agree with that too, goodmourning! For me it's gone both ways, where I know I'm not the most outgoing or bubbly or traditionally social person, so I feel jealous of those who are so naturally good with people. I have a good social life, so that helps to fight off some of that jealousy, but I have to work at it. I may be out doing social things, but the interactions with others are never as smooth or natural as I would want.
When others would do better than I did in school, I would tend to focus on my social life, so that I could say that "at least I have friends and I'm not alone in the library studying all day." Sometimes, though, I would have liked to be in the library studying all day, if only it was more accepted.
I'm a social 5, and I find that I'm more concerned with fitting in than other 5s
5w6 |
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mariposa119
Member
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - 03 Nov 2009 : 9:42:40 PM
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Marie,
I definitely fall in love with someone who's smart and talented-- it just tends to be someone who excels in a slighty different area, even if it's as subtle as being in different sciences. I personally struggle with feeling competent around others, so I think I would feel threatened if I were dating someone who was more gifted in an area where I wanted to be the best, the jealousy might be too powerful. I agree with you about being attracted to that smart, gifted person :)
5w6 |
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marie
Member
4292 Posts |
Posted - 03 Nov 2009 : 9:53:24 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by mariposa119
Marie,
I definitely fall in love with someone who's smart and talented-- it just tends to be someone who excels in a slighty different area, even if it's as subtle as being in different sciences. I personally struggle with feeling competent around others, so I think I would feel threatened if I were dating someone who was more gifted in an area where I wanted to be the best, the jealousy might be too powerful. I agree with you about being attracted to that smart, gifted person :)
5w6
Yes...I can see what you mean. Maybe I would feel the same way...it's just that I have never dated anyone who was working in my same area. (There just aren't that many of us.)
R and H suggest that Fives strive to find a "niche" so that they don't have to compete. I have never done this consciously...but I have found myself in a niche. It's kind of lonely sometimes, but at least I don't have to compete.
This also gives me the luxury of not having to feel too much in the way of envy. There's no one comparable! (Something of a narcissistic compensation perhaps.) |
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baba
Member
1132 Posts |
Posted - 04 Nov 2009 : 06:56:24 AM
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Always been satisfied as an international business analyst..
a "Competence driven function".. Always refused a leading-management job..
Knowing y'r strenghts and weaknesses...
A parent must also not be afraid to hang himself. |
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skunk
Member
2131 Posts |
Posted - 06 Nov 2009 : 5:06:27 PM
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In areas in which I've fancied myself capable I've tended to feel uneasy.... insecure, when confronted with more talented people - but never jealous. I'd feel resentment at those who seemed 'pedestrian' yet scored all the top marks because they knew how to jump through the hoops.
Jealousy of any variety was an alien emotion to me as a child. I was naive in the face of other's jealousy -- and I still don't tend to it, especially materialistic jealousy. |
Edited by - skunk on 06 Nov 2009 5:08:44 PM |
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skunk
Member
2131 Posts |
Posted - 12 Nov 2009 : 3:50:43 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by baba
Always been satisfied as an international business analyst..
a "Competence driven function".. Always refused a leading-management job..
Knowing y'r strenghts and weaknesses...
A parent must also not be afraid to hang himself.
If I ever again see you trying to weasel your way into "Camp Five" and polluting the threads with your incoherent nonsense I am going to demand that any Five in the online community who would claim you as their own would step forward and do so.
Now go back and re-tally your RHETI scores. It may only be a matter of a small arithmetic error that stands between you and the glory of a Four wing.
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baba
Member
1132 Posts |
Posted - 12 Nov 2009 : 5:45:11 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by skunk
quote:
Originally posted by baba
Always been satisfied as an international business analyst..
a "Competence driven function".. Always refused a leading-management job..
Knowing y'r strenghts and weaknesses...
A parent must also not be afraid to hang himself.
If I ever again see you trying to weasel your way into "Camp Five" and polluting the threads with your incoherent nonsense I am going to demand that any Five in the online community who would claim you as their own would step forward and do so.
Now go back and re-tally your RHETI scores. It may only be a matter of a small arithmetic error that stands between you and the glory of a Four wing.
Skunk,
nearly 90% of y'r mails has been edited..
How was y'r father ? lol
Jealousy of any variety was an alien emotion to me as a child. I was naive in the face of other's jealousy -- and I still don't tend to it, especially materialistic jealousy.
Edited by - skunk on 06 Nov 2009 5:08:44 PM
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Edited by - baba on 12 Nov 2009 5:47:09 PM |
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bobloblaw
Member
3 Posts |
Posted - 12 Nov 2009 : 6:58:11 PM
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It's interesting that the few cases of jealousy were accompanied by remarkably subdued, or at least innocuous, responses.
Jealousy aside, would it be totally uncharacteristic for a five to lash out at someone (who incites antipathy) by pointing out to him that he's not well-liked? |
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amande
Member
137 Posts |
Posted - 12 Nov 2009 : 11:23:51 PM
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I know nothing about fives and jealousy, but bobloblaw, your username: YES!!!
9w1 sp/sx INFP |
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bobloblaw
Member
3 Posts |
Posted - 13 Nov 2009 : 09:25:28 AM
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| LOL - I can't wait for the movie. |
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Classi
Member
331 Posts |
Posted - 13 Nov 2009 : 10:37:42 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by amande
I know nothing about fives and jealousy, but bobloblaw, your username: YES!!!
9w1 sp/sx INFP
ahhw, I was beaten to it.
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LOL - I can't wait for the movie.
*Assumes rich husky deep voice*
THIS YEAR, THE TYPE THEY THOUGHT THEY COULD ALL OVERLOOK, IS GOING TO GET JEALOUS |
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Fives and Jealousy
