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 i don't have any self hatred
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lovemyth
Member

USA
3496 Posts

Posted - 18 Sep 2010 :  11:44:26 AM  Show Profile  Visit lovemyth's Homepage  Reply with Quote
after some time i've come to a realization that i am not a four. after and episode of hoarders with a man who seems to exemplify very much textbook lower level four and understanding his dynamic, as well s conversation on the inner dynamic- and the differences in nuance of compulsive liars with a friend (together we have actually known 3 total, weird right? but they all greatly differ in inner dynamics- though the end result is the same)- i've found a greater clarity on the type of four enneagramically.

having understood this i no longer can place myself as a 4 type.

the problem being i believe interpretation. i was able, without a hard copy, to interpret the concepts too widely. i've done this before.

so bye bye type four.

-beeotchy for fun and profit-

current lololo8 status:
random.

enforest
Member

2085 Posts

Posted - 18 Sep 2010 :  12:11:27 PM  Show Profile  Visit enforest's Homepage  Reply with Quote

What are you then?
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lovemyth
Member

USA
3496 Posts

Posted - 18 Sep 2010 :  12:53:47 PM  Show Profile  Visit lovemyth's Homepage  Reply with Quote
dunno.

i have had issues typing myself for a few reasons i believe.

1. i don't have an appropriate grasp of the system- and every time i think i do - it turns out i've had less a grasp than i had believed.

2.i don't have the ability to not be me and so i am unable to find the magic key that will click it. it's easy to look at the guy on hoarders and see whats going on there as it relates to the enneagram system. while i am capable of seeing dynamics in myself they don't really make a true picture- they just seem to me as a bunch of dynamics. this has actually always frustrated me. i can see other people as a whole but i can't see myself.


-beeotchy for fun and profit-

current lololo8 status:
random.
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~lee~
Member

USA
8255 Posts

Posted - 18 Sep 2010 :  1:16:45 PM  Show Profile  Visit ~lee~'s Homepage  Reply with Quote
Re: last sentence--I think it's hard to have good critical distance on one's self. Good friends can be helpful with this.

Any clue what your dominant center is?
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lovemyth
Member

USA
3496 Posts

Posted - 18 Sep 2010 :  1:53:46 PM  Show Profile  Visit lovemyth's Homepage  Reply with Quote
i've chased people down sometimes to try to explain me to me but it never does anything. i've yet to meet anyone personally who can sum up the way i can do to other people or tell me something i don't already know or know better. i'm pretty good with self awareness and self honesty- it just doesn't add to anything. just random pieces.

well no, one interaction with a therapist once was really insightful- but i ended up never going back to therapy after that. should have looking back on it, considering it is my apparent desire. maybe it was more threatening though, or maybe i just got busy with work. hm.

no clue on dominant center- it's not something i've really gone into. thinking about the image center though and i don't believe i have much concern in that area. weather or not i misunderstand the centers in general is aanother issue. so dunno.

-beeotchy for fun and profit-

current lololo8 status:
random.
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shakti
Member

USA
11087 Posts

Posted - 18 Sep 2010 :  5:17:28 PM  Show Profile  Visit shakti's Homepage  Reply with Quote
do you feel the same way about instinctual stacking or does that feel a bit clearer?
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Rich
Member

USA
4643 Posts

Posted - 18 Sep 2010 :  7:02:43 PM  Show Profile  Visit Rich's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Lovemyth, I would suggest looking at this, which of the 9 is most like YOU?
www.heall.com/enneagram/lifescript.html

Its seems to be very accurate for 3 & 4.
/

ISTJ & SP-3W4
Serious-Sensitive-Inventive-Leisurely Styles
HER:SP-2W1 & ISFJ; Self Sacrificing-Dramatic-Conscientious-Aggressive styles
My philosophy of life: Love will get you through.
I learned to dissemble at an early age.
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Kim Lynn
Member

115 Posts

Posted - 18 Sep 2010 :  7:27:23 PM  Show Profile  Visit Kim Lynn's Homepage  Reply with Quote
That site Rich post:
My husband does not fit the 6 very well. He is 6w5 and he very much has his own system and rules. NT 6 more independent thinker and don't like others rules much. NF 6 more independent imaginative thinker too.
That more for SJ 6 of both wings.

Helen Palmer better because she focus on questioning mind, imagination and intuitive gifts of 6 over authority focus. Lots of 6's only have footnote issues with authority and simply don't trust them much. They question authority just like everything else, maybe even more because they are sensitive to power structures because they often trigger suspicion.

http://www.enneagram.com/enneagram_type6.html





so2w1 married to sp6w5

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
Mother Teresa

Edited by - Kim Lynn on 18 Sep 2010 8:01:23 PM
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lovemyth
Member

USA
3496 Posts

Posted - 18 Sep 2010 :  8:43:04 PM  Show Profile  Visit lovemyth's Homepage  Reply with Quote
i feel fairly certain of my instinct. however if my understanding up-ends. who knows then.

i have some concern with my understanding of how the social manifests. of course there are questions that would come into play- if i do find my type- that may necessarily up- end my understanding of my instinct as they manifest in relation to my type.

but it does seem somewhat clearer at this point anyhow. and it's possible that it has been clearer to me overall.

blergh.

i really like the link but do not feel it is helpful to me at this point. if i can't see myself from that vantage then i unable to really see myself at all in descriptions. maybe it will add up later though. some of the three stuff seemed to click today. every once in a while things will click and it's like oooh. now that has meaning instead of it just being words. and it's retarted sounding becuase i relaize i'm saying very elementary stuff as it reguards the system here- but it's become real, possibly for the first time.

because what does self hatred mean? what does external orientation mean? these things without any real context could just mean so many different things. so how is it really defined? what is it really? sometimes and usually for me it is with the aid of concrete example that i can put the boundaries around the idea. understanding a word doesn't help but seeing what it actually is makes it make sense.

-beeotchy for fun and profit-

current lololo8 status:
random.
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.ron4
Member

11675 Posts

Posted - 19 Sep 2010 :  01:59:08 AM  Show Profile  Visit .ron4's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by lovemyth

dunno.

i have had issues typing myself for a few reasons i believe.

1. i don't have an appropriate grasp of the system- and every time i think i do - it turns out i've had less a grasp than i had believed.

2.i don't have the ability to not be me and so i am unable to find the magic key that will click it. it's easy to look at the guy on hoarders and see whats going on there as it relates to the enneagram system. while i am capable of seeing dynamics in myself they don't really make a true picture- they just seem to me as a bunch of dynamics. this has actually always frustrated me. i can see other people as a whole but i can't see myself.


-beeotchy for fun and profit-

current lololo8 status:
random.


Well I'm sure glad to hear you don't have any self-hatred.





Ron

"If you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make a change".
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Lake
Member

9493 Posts

Posted - 20 Sep 2010 :  6:52:21 PM  Show Profile  Visit Lake's Homepage  Reply with Quote
after long thinking i was a type 4, i've recently realized i'm a 6.

after reading about the "HARMONIC GROUPS', http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/harmonics.asp
and seeing that both 4 and 6 (and 8, actually) are in the "emotional realness group", things made more sense.

try it on, and see if it fits...




6w7
so last
xNFJ
"Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you."
-Tao Te Ching
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Honey Bee
Member

17326 Posts

Posted - 21 Sep 2010 :  09:55:41 AM  Show Profile  Visit Honey Bee's Homepage  Reply with Quote
i think....a pervailing sense of self hate is sensed as belonging to the lower part of a persons bandwidth and not in their upper part....exists everywhere.
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Desdemona
Member

USA
16709 Posts

Posted - 21 Sep 2010 :  2:09:47 PM  Show Profile  Visit Desdemona's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Rich
www.heall.com/enneagram/lifescript.html


I like those descriptions a lot, Rich.


I am not a stereotype!
7w6cp
Sx/sp
ENFP
Dramatic/Mercurial/Adventurous/Idiosyncratic Style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EIeUlvHAiM&a=EP1qRnozdGw&playnext_from=ML
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lovemyth
Member

USA
3496 Posts

Posted - 03 Oct 2010 :  02:29:34 AM  Show Profile  Visit lovemyth's Homepage  Reply with Quote
i also just realized my bf is 6w7 not 7w6.

i thought it possible the purposefuly socially unacceptable style he engages in-i spoke of in an earlier post- might be a kind of "testing" he engages in counterphobicly. after a lengthy confessional tonight it is completely inescapable that he is a flaming 6.

little hints have been coming out- his insecurities have been piqued under stress and a not delusional sense of abandonment ( though exaggerated to some extents and in part because of his increased neediness due to stress- sort of a self feeding cycle- but his friends are less available, i am less available. combined with his increased need it's blowing to great proportions in his mind. intresting.)

i never realized he had such a huge sense of pressure to perceived expectations/obligation. it was there to some extents but he hides these thing very well. i had no idea it was so central. part must be that i was skimming this as well i believe.

we've talked before about the issue of college which he hasn;t offically graduated. one elective credit- that his friend/professor/mentor- will give him for going to dinner with him if he signs up for his class.

it's a inner rebellion against what it seems feels to him like a weighty huge expectation- to be the first of his family to graduate college.

it didn't occur to me that this wasn't a peripheral issue.





-beeotchy for fun and profit-

current lololo8 status:
random.
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lovemyth
Member

USA
3496 Posts

Posted - 03 Oct 2010 :  02:53:26 AM  Show Profile  Visit lovemyth's Homepage  Reply with Quote
oh and the first time i ever realized that he views our interactions through a lens of seeking out ulterior motive. that i really was totally blacked out on. i wouldn't have known i don't think if he hadn't told me.

he's capable of understanding that the motive seeking/paranoia is mostly his issue however i think it is slipping.

while he has always been an awesome partner in pretty much all areas- lately he responds very defensively, wanting very much to dodge what he perceives as blame. it's incredibly frustrating.

i had bought a new sweater that i was in love with and he had put it in the wash. i ask "did you wash my sweater?". the fit had changed as well as the texture. i'm trying to figure out how it got washed because it was my baby and i know it's handwash only.

normally he would say something like "oh it must have gotten mixed up with the laundry, sorry" - i would have said "oh that sucks" and moved on. instead he began reverse questioning me, in a contentious fashion- "did you put it in the hamper?" till it turned into a fight.

i like when things start to add up. sorry for the postings. i'm sorta stream of conciousness-ing here. all kinds of stuff is popping up and running into each other

-beeotchy for fun and profit-

current lololo8 status:
random.

Edited by - lovemyth on 03 Oct 2010 03:23:30 AM
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