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Lake
Member
6838 Posts |
 Posted - 06 Aug 2012 : 10:37:03 PM
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okaaaay, no holds barred, as per your request ...
Rich -
FIRST IMPRESSION: I first saw Rich and Joan in the lobby of the Westin, as everyone was waiting to go to dinner. From the hotel bar, Kate and I saw the group huddling up, and frantically but giddily tried to get our selves and things together so that they wouldn't have to wait any longer. I finally got to the 3/4 circle of dinner-goers, and started shaking hands counter-clockwise. Rich and Joan were at about 11 and 12 o'clock from where I started ... dunno what order ...
Anyway, I believe they are of my grandparents' generation -- "The Great Generation" -- and I felt they had the best markings of that time on them (or maybe it was just them?): stable, hard-working, practical, and, through a cultured and flexible acceptance of the human condition, had managed to enter maturity without palpable bitterness or resignation.
Beyond the age-difference though, I felt they stood out in another way as well ... like being from the Mid-West or something ... I have to say, it surprised me that they lived in Southern California for some reason ... like they had a different set of morals and tastes than is common in the area ... were part of a different sub-culture. Religious? ... maybe.
Physically, Rich is tall and slender, slightly angular, and has an Einstein mop of white hair. Dunno if it was purely physical or not, but I remember thinking "floating head". I thought of 5, and of 1w9. I got no emotional read at all from him, but didn't really notice the absence of it at the time ... only now as i'm thinking back ...
When I think of Joan, I get this image in my head (actual, or not) of her standing squarely with her feet together, her hands folded in front of her, and a slight smile on her face -- neatly zipped-up, and glowing. Like a rose bud waiting to open.
SECOND-IMPRESSION: Dinner. I sat on the very edge of the long, skinny table, next to Joan, and across from Rich. It was easy and comfortable. They had been to the restaurant many times, and I felt they were just hanging out. "Sure, let's go have dinner with those board people". Things started getting hazy as I relaxed too. ... chat, chat, chat ... Joan sat politely and warmly engaged from time to time, Rich seemed to withdraw into his own world. Then, dunno quite when it happened, but Crooner started talking about a racy new bathing suit he had purchased. I asked him what color it was, and he said black. I expressed some joking, disappointed surprise, and then turned to Rich and asked him what color HE thought Crooner should have gotten. Rich didn't miss a beat, smiled big, and said "Something vibrant" with an absolute certainty, and a clear satisfaction with himself. I just about died laughing.
Somewhere near the end of dinner, I got tired, and a little soc-last blue and withdrawn. Joan clearly noticed, and gently and expertly nudged me back outside of myself. Most people either don't even notice, get confused, or even get angry with me, so I was touched that she, nearly an absolute stranger, knew exactly what was going on with me, and what to do with it.
I realized I could not even begin to fathom what they are like on a day-to-day basis, and what they've been through, but I got this image of Rich farting at the dinner table, and Joan scolding him ("Richard"), but smiling LOL |
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Crooner
Member
USA
5411 Posts |
Posted - 06 Aug 2012 : 11:08:18 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Lake
I asked him what color it was, and he said black. I expressed some joking, disappointed surprise, and then turned to Rich and asked him what color HE thought Crooner should have gotten. Rich didn't miss a beat, smiled big, and said "Something vibrant" with an absolute certainty, and a clear satisfaction with himself. I just about died laughing.
Lake… I didn’t hear that! I would have cracked up too!
I would have chosen electric blue or royal blue, if there were
any other color than black for my new Nike trunks.
Also thought it was funny that you used to work at the post
office and you were familiar with the catalogs that I mentioned.
The post office workers delivering mail to my P.O. Box probably
scratch their heads going: “Gee, I thought this guy was straight.”
The old swim trunks were kinda like the male equivalent of
a wonder bra - and caused something of a stir on the EIDB.
My new trunks have effectively left me “neutered.”
(See? I do listen to advice on the EIDB.)
Crooner
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Edited by - Crooner on 06 Aug 2012 11:14:10 PM |
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Lake
Member
6838 Posts |
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Lake
Member
6838 Posts |
Posted - 06 Aug 2012 : 11:21:27 PM
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It was a copy center, and 16-year-old me learned quite a lot of new things working there  |
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shakti
Member
USA
10596 Posts |
Posted - 07 Aug 2012 : 01:07:46 AM
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Kate, thank you so much for posting your impressions. I haven't had much luck with Internet access while I'm on a retreat in the mountains. I have another week to go before it is all done.
I was happy to catch up on the thread today, and also my thanks to those who emailed.  |
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~lee~
Member
USA
8178 Posts |
Posted - 07 Aug 2012 : 01:33:04 AM
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Hi Lake
You can post or email your impressions of me if you want to. I don't feel like we especially connected. I recall that you asked me about what I do on the way to the restaurant and if I was abrupt in answering, I apologize. I'm feeling sufficiently discontent about my job and its indefiniteness these days that I kind of cringe when I'm asked about it. You came across to me as intense.
We were at opposite ends of the table, so no luck for me there in getting to know you better.
I wish you the best,
Lee |
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Lake
Member
6838 Posts |
Posted - 07 Aug 2012 : 01:48:57 AM
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Lee:
I found you as soft but labyrinthine, yet imagined that you could have sharp focus and exert great force when "turned on".
... yeah, for some reason i found myself wanting to figure out as quickly as possible what really lights you up.
Hope i didn't freak you out 
I have felt, and still feel, like you would be an interesting person to know -- unique and intelligent.
Best to you as well
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Edited by - Lake on 07 Aug 2012 01:49:36 AM |
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~lee~
Member
USA
8178 Posts |
Posted - 07 Aug 2012 : 02:31:33 AM
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Alas, Lake, my job no longer lights me up. Only in rare moments when I feel like I'm actually doing something useful or that helps somebody.
What's lighting me up more these days is curiosity about my body and what's showing up in my life. It feels as if time is short and I want to live more deeply. I need more courage.
Lake, you didn't freak me out, and hopefully we'll meet again with more time to explore. Thank you for writing.
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Rich
Member
USA
3853 Posts |
Posted - 07 Aug 2012 : 04:50:32 AM
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Lake, Joan and I are what William Strauss and Neil Howe in the book, " Generations ", call the Silent Generation, 1925-1942. We are stuck between the "Great Generation ", 1901-1924, and the Boomers, 1943-1960. We are the generation that has been the luckiest generation, according to the authors, in American History. ( And, the only generation NOT to have a President.... ) My Godmother/aunt was a 1W9, and while we share more than a few traits, I don't have all the shoulds, oughts and musts, that she had.... Joan and I are both from the Irish-Catholic sub culture, while Joan is a native Californian and I came from the Mid-West in 1953.
Since we are no holds barred, for you I would have to add that you are much smarter than you first appear. I don't mean that as a put down, but rather that you don't display your strong sagacity or resourcefulness, nor call attention to it. I find that not fitting the current mode, since the usual pattern is to pretend to know more than one really knows, or posses more abilities than one actually does have, you know, the Hollywood approach to life. 
 / 
ISTJ & SP-3W4, DISC:High-DSC
Serious-Sensitive-Inventive-Leisurely Styles
HER:SP-2W1 & ISFJ; Self Sacrificing-Dramatic-Conscientious-Aggressive styles
My philosophy of life: Love will get you through.
I learned to dissemble at an early age. |
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Lake
Member
6838 Posts |
Posted - 07 Aug 2012 : 06:10:35 AM
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After I wrote that I saw I was wrong about the generation! My grandparents are also in the silent then too!
Anyway, really cool to learn a bit more about you and Joan, Rich. Thanks for understanding they're just impressions (like I'm trying to be Sherlock Holmes -- guessing someone's occupation from the state of their fingernails  ).
As for what you've said about me -- thank you. Ill try and present your case to my typically vast and varied, yet rigid, superego, and my comparatively usually flimsy and over-shadowed ego. ... Both seem to be in constant flux and battle though (and having undergone a semi-recent extreme upset), so I don't know that they'll hear you, nor remember ...
And why are you up so late?! 
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Edited by - Lake on 07 Aug 2012 06:53:05 AM |
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Rich
Member
USA
3853 Posts |
Posted - 07 Aug 2012 : 3:22:04 PM
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[quote]Originally posted by Lake
After I wrote that I saw I was wrong about the generation! My grandparents are also in the silent then too! ( end quote )
*** According to the authors, it was the Silent's fate to be sandwiched between 2 very assertive and notable generations.The authors say of us, " Their solutions - fairness, openness, due process, expertise reflect a lack of surefootedness, but also a keen sense of how and why humans fall short of grand civic plans or ideal moral standards. " Since we live in an era of amoral selfishness, the things that haven't work out as promised, are legion! I notice that Joan and I talk a lot about such things, after watching and listening to the news.
Anyway, really cool to learn a bit more about you and Joan, Rich. Thanks for understanding they're just impressions (like I'm trying to be Sherlock Holmes -- guessing someone's occupation from the state of their fingernails ). ( end quote )
*** All you can do, is to cut down on subjectivity as best as you can. Following Kiersey, I have stopped looking for either extroversion or introversion. Its mostly just a guesstimate as which one it is, since most people have a continuum of E to I, or I to E.
As for what you've said about me -- thank you. Ill try and present your case to my typically vast and varied, yet rigid, superego, and my comparatively usually flimsy and over-shadowed ego. ... Both seem to be in constant flux and battle though (and having undergone a semi-recent extreme upset), so I don't know that they'll hear you, nor remember ... ( end quote )
In Catholic thought, this is a very serious spiritual problem, because it can directly lead to apathy, despondency, depression, or amorality. In the days of the Ancient Rabbis and early Cristian desert dwellers, what we now mistakenly call " sloth ", was called from the Greek, Acedia. Acedia involves giving up, of not caring, of over-adapting to the material world, and eventually forgetting God for all practical purposes. Acedia can even become accepting of " current evils ", we all saw how well that worked out in the 20th century mass totalitarian movements. I have more than a touch of Acedia myself, because it fits in so well with 3ish " efficiency " and cutting corners. Good luck, you have to win this struggle!
And why are you up so late?! ( end quote )
In a word, insomnia. the doctors tell me, that if you are awake more than 20 minutes, you should get out of bed. Being a workaholic 3W4-SJ, that means DOING sometime. I love to read, but I find that if I read late at night, sometimes its pretty fuzzy in the morning. So I find things to do to keep busy, and not wake up poor Joan by keep getting in and out of bed a lot....
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ISTJ & SP-3W4, DISC:High-DSC
Serious-Sensitive-Inventive-Leisurely Styles
HER:SP-2W1 & ISFJ; Self Sacrificing-Dramatic-Conscientious-Aggressive styles
My philosophy of life: Love will get you through.
I learned to dissemble at an early age. |
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Kate
Member
5931 Posts |
Posted - 07 Aug 2012 : 3:46:57 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by shakti
while I'm on a retreat in the mountains
enjoy
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Lake
Member
6838 Posts |
Posted - 07 Aug 2012 : 10:18:46 PM
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| thanks again, rich. |
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Rich
Member
USA
3853 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2012 : 11:31:47 AM
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[quote]Originally posted by Lake
Beyond the age-difference though, I felt they stood out in another way as well ... like being from the Mid-West or something ... I have to say, it surprised me that they lived in Southern California for some reason ... like they had a different set of morals and tastes than is common in the area ... were part of a different sub-culture. Religious? ... maybe. ( end quote )
Lake, part of what you observed, is both of us being SJs. On this board there are so few of us, that we are not even a minority, just oddities. That and the fact that we are also Ennea self-pres, which gives us a double shot. And of course there is also the life cycle factor, though Crooner shares that.... ( Glad that you are enjoying well earned retirement, Crooner! ) At our age, if you haven't achieved some wisdom, balance, and peace with yourself, then its pretty obvious, you never will....
PS; Metamucil wafers took care of the gas problem! 
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ISTJ & SP-3W4, DISC:High-DSC
Serious-Sensitive-Inventive-Leisurely Styles
Joan:SP-2W1 & ISFJ; Self Sacrificing-Dramatic-Conscientious-Aggressive styles
My philosophy of life: Love will get you through.
I learned to dissemble at an early age. |
Edited by - Rich on 09 Aug 2012 11:37:38 AM |
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Lake
Member
6838 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2012 : 11:50:46 AM
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Seriously, you've gotta stop being all nice to me.
Even though I'm better than everybody else, I'm still nothing.
That's the thing here.
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Lake
Member
6838 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2012 : 12:28:32 PM
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| ... But you already knew that. |
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Rich
Member
USA
3853 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2012 : 6:46:52 PM
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[quote]Originally posted by Lake
Seriously, you've gotta stop being all nice to me.
Even though I'm better than everybody else, I'm still nothing.
That's the thing here. ( end of quote )
Here's the thing, if the rest of us have to make the best of a bad deal, namely you, then why we would want to make even a worse deal with somebody below you? What's in it for us? ( We can't be good for nothing. $-$-$ ) Hint, hint, no reasonable gratuity will be refused, we can give you an extravaganza if that is you wish....
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ISTJ & SP-3W4, DISC:High-DSC
Serious-Sensitive-Inventive-Leisurely Styles
Joan:SP-2W1 & ISFJ; Self Sacrificing-Dramatic-Conscientious-Aggressive styles
My philosophy of life: Love will get you through.
I learned to dissemble at an early age. |
Edited by - Rich on 09 Aug 2012 6:50:18 PM |
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Crooner
Member
USA
5411 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2012 : 8:22:38 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Rich
Glad that you are enjoying well earned retirement, Crooner!
Thanks, Rich!
I’m not really enjoying retirement yet.
It’s been about a month and it has felt like convalescent leave.
I ran into a friend who called it “Detox” from the work environment.
He also told me that his detox took about 17 months.
(Oh heck no… I wanna get over this sooner than that.)
Folks at the workplace imagined that I would be having fun
traveling the world. Yes, eventually. But for the time being,
I’m bloody exhausted… I don’t want to go anywhere for a while.
The IEA conference was my first out-of-town trip.
Anyway, I’m so glad you and Joan were able to join us for dinner.
Crooner
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Edited by - Crooner on 09 Aug 2012 8:25:46 PM |
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Lake
Member
6838 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2012 : 8:58:22 PM
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Rich-
I will work for Eden -- Eden w/o all those inherent and back-handed traps.
... A loving husband, and a pet Tiger.
Thanks!
Dayna |
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Lake
Member
6838 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2012 : 9:02:24 PM
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| Funny part is, kinda had it, but threw it away. |
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Lake
Member
6838 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2012 : 9:06:05 PM
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So, I'm working on figuring out what I want next (cuz lightning doesn't strike twice, right?) and trying to figure out how to recognize it if I ever get it.
* Yes, I keep remembering good things, and doubling-over.
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Lake
Member
6838 Posts |
Posted - 09 Aug 2012 : 9:10:18 PM
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| Or just now: to be happy now. |
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Habanero
Member
1214 Posts |
Posted - 10 Aug 2012 : 6:55:10 PM
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I wish I could have attended this and met you all. You guys seem cool. Hopefully there will be another Southern California event that I can attend.
I have been unemployed for a year and left alone to free range, I am becoming more my true personality which is very, very schizoid. (I guess I had a fake one for work/school/coping with life). Thus I don't know if I could have honestly handled meeting new people and (yikes) have people's impressions posted here. Although I do get the feeling folks would be understanding and at least with a common interest, I'd feel more communicative.
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Desdemona
Member
USA
15398 Posts |
Posted - 10 Aug 2012 : 9:12:28 PM
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I wish I could've gone too. Nice to see you again, Habanero.
"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--"
7w6cp Sx/sp
ENFP
Dramatic/Mercurial/Adventurous/Idiosyncratic Style
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Edited by - Desdemona on 20 Aug 2012 4:18:57 PM |
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~lee~
Member
USA
8178 Posts |
Posted - 10 Aug 2012 : 9:51:19 PM
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Hi Habanero
Long time no write. Good to see you here. |
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IEA 2012
