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sunny
Member
USA
9393 Posts |
 Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 1:45:13 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by eidbuser
quote:
Originally posted by JoL
Are you looking for a rescuer in general?
Yes, I always have been.
Love as salvation from existence.
The perfect love.
The thing is...I relate to that. There are at least a couple possibilities. One is a traumatized 9/1sx at 6, another is 4. Others will probably have ideas about this too.
Why do you need someone else to tell you who you are? Do you not trust what you see yourself? Does who you are seem to change?
You need someone to tell you who you are: You feel the need to have an identity? What's the feeling without it? What drives the need?
I can't tell if you're a a pseudo-4, a 3/4 at 9, a 9 at 6, or a 4. You were traumatized, and also you're a only child...your mom was your primary attachment. I believe environmental factors create other types over our primary type, which complicates the picture.
(I believe boys who are only children and who develop a strong attachement to their mothers can have a natural 3ish narcissism [possibly if their mothers see them as all-important or the center of their lives.])
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Edited by - sunny on 03 Apr 2012 1:58:54 PM |
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eidbuser
Member
1957 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 2:07:29 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by JoL
The thing is...I relate to that. There are at least a couple possibilities. One is a traumatized 9/1sx at 6, another is 4. Others will probably have ideas about this too.
JoL, can you explain the relationship between 4 and sx9 as you see it, and your own personal shift in self-perspective from 4 to sx9?
quote:
Why do you need someone else to tell you who you are? Do you not trust what you see yourself? Does who you are seem to change?
I said that in a very strange psychological moment where there was something like a gap in my identity.
What I'm often looking for in a relationship is someone that can understand me totally. Someone that can almost see me better than myself. Someone that sees what's deepest, most true, and special about me. I usually don't perceive the specialness that I intuitively sense in my depths, and my psycho-spiritual quest is often to get in touch with this inner reservoir of the self.
I want an extremely deep relationship that will heal my sense of estrangement from existence. Because I feel so completely alone in the universe, I also want to find someone that I feel is extremely rare like me. Thus we can both get to the core of each other. A relationship that will enable us both to find ourselves, to reach some kind of completion. I feel like I can find myself in the other, or in the meeting point between the self and other.
I often get the intuition that what I'm looking for in this perfect relationship is myself. One of the main reasons for this is that when I think about the qualities that I want in this other person, what I want is someone extremely similar to myself. Someone with a similar level of depth, similar perspectives, similar painful past experiences. Someone who sees the world in a similar, or at least comparable way, to how I see it. But of course, someone who can still fascinate me and hold my attention, admiration, affection, idealization.
When I inquire into the motivation underlying this desire, the answer I get is that I want this relationship to heal the profound sense of disconnection I've felt all my life.
From a psychospiritual perspective, the only thing that can heal this alienation is a reuniting with my real self.
And I do not know how to do that.
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Edited by - eidbuser on 03 Apr 2012 2:09:26 PM |
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sunny
Member
USA
9393 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 2:33:36 PM
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You do know that your real self doesn't exist right, and all of your characteristics are just defenses?
You know that the deeper you go and the closer you get to essence the less there is that's graspable?
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eidbuser
Member
1957 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 2:56:38 PM
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JoL I think you're saying that there is no real self, and that the self is an illusion. I'm open to that but I also think its just one theory. Another theory is that there is a real self that we are not in touch with.
I'm having a strange experience, as I feel that I'm more here. I'm more present and clearly aware of presence. But I also have the paradoxical sense that "I'm not here" - that I'm here but there isnt a self that is here. My usual sense of self is gone, and I'm just like an empty space of aware consciousness. There's a feeling of being more free, but a disconcerting sense of not having a usual sense of self. |
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sunny
Member
USA
9393 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 3:20:45 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by eidbuser
quote:
Originally posted by JoL
The thing is...I relate to that. There are at least a couple possibilities. One is a traumatized 9/1sx at 6, another is 4. Others will probably have ideas about this too.
JoL, can you explain the relationship between 4 and sx9 as you see it, and your own personal shift in self-perspective from 4 to sx9?
In my own experience (that's all I can really speak to), I believe I was born a 9sx...with a tendency to be deeply attached to my parents. Because there was a "disconnection" from them, secondary 4-like defenses also developed along with the 9 defenses. I withdrew and lived in a fantasy world a lot as a little kid, but later moved on to other strategies.
After I learned about the types I realized that I wasn't core 4, even though I'd developed a lot of 4 tendencies. There wasn't the feeling of being "special" or the frustration that leads to the drive to create and beautify. There was the drive to find someone to complete me though...someone to merge/connect with...someone to mirror me.
There was also lot of sx+8 energy which is probably why I see a 7ishness in myself.
I believe I developed 4ish traits when my parents distanced from me during my childhood...when my youngest brothers were born. I felt very abandoned emotionally.
My parents met my/our physical needs for food and shelter, but otherwise neglected our needs for connection and guidance. I think up until then, I was very much attached and very dependent on them and as a kid I was like a blend of 9 and 8.
When my youngest brothers were born, I felt like I'd lost my parents. I was envious of my brothers and I withdrew and brooded. I had a longing for my parents and there was emptiness and sadness. There was hostility/anger/reactivity coming from them because they were immature and overwhelmed. The emotional distance was very real and it was devastating to me. My near-age siblings talk about it too.
I tried being perfect and "good" and developed my 1 wing for a period of time. They didn't notice and didn't really care, so I'd act out in 6CP/8ish ways...stealing, being reckless, running away, acting out sexually, etc.
Essentially, I was forced to be independent before I was ready, and I was deeply affected by the disconnection from my parents. There was/is a lot of deep rage about it...some of it (unfortunately) is still being realized now that they're old and vulnerable.
quote:
Why do you need someone else to tell you who you are? Do you not trust what you see yourself? Does who you are seem to change?
I said that in a very strange psychological moment where there was something like a gap in my identity.
The gap might be uncomfortable but I see it as a period of being ego-less, and that's not a bad thing. Do you feel scared/groundless when it happens? Look forward to it happening again and sit through the discomfort...use it as a mediation and see what happens.
What I'm often looking for in a relationship is someone that can understand me totally. Someone that can almost see me better than myself. Someone that sees what's deepest, most true, and special about me. I usually don't perceive the specialness that I intuitively sense in my depths, and my psycho-spiritual quest is often to get in touch with this inner reservoir of the self.
I want an extremely deep relationship that will heal my sense of estrangement from existence. Because I feel so completely alone in the universe, I also want to find someone that I feel is extremely rare like me. Thus we can both get to the core of each other. A relationship that will enable us both to find ourselves, to reach some kind of completion. I feel like I can find myself in the other, or in the meeting point between the self and other.
I relate to all of that
I often get the intuition that what I'm looking for in this perfect relationship is myself. One of the main reasons for this is that when I think about the qualities that I want in this other person, what I want is someone extremely similar to myself. Someone with a similar level of depth, similar perspectives, similar painful past experiences. Someone who sees the world in a similar, or at least comparable way, to how I see it. But of course, someone who can still fascinate me and hold my attention, admiration, affection, idealization.
I somewhat relate to that, but I usually want someone stronger than me.
When I inquire into the motivation underlying this desire, the answer I get is that I want this relationship to heal the profound sense of disconnection I've felt all my life.
Yes. I feel that too.
From a psychospiritual perspective, the only thing that can heal this alienation is a reuniting with my real self.
And I do not know how to do that.
You're thinking that "real-self" = ego I think, but it doesn't.
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Edited by - sunny on 03 Apr 2012 3:26:57 PM |
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Glasgow
Member
Germany
5836 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 3:34:36 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by eidbuser
quote:
Originally posted by JoL
Are you looking for a rescuer in general?
Yes, I always have been.
Love as salvation from existence.
The perfect love.
yeah, i know.
thats why i asked if you have a girlfriend. (btw my girlfriend is a sp/sx9w1)
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lovemyth
Member
USA
2934 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 5:55:34 PM
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"you don’t seem to identify with the shame and drive to be unique of 4. Those are the two aspects of 4 that immediately rang true for me. The problem of not being unique, the fear of it- if I’m not unique then I am replaceable. My place in the universe is forfeit. This is a serious existential problem. That goes beyond feeling different or experimenting with self-expression or whatever."
this doesn't even make sense to me.
i was different. always. and i felt actually ashamed of my difference as i grew up. i had a weird name and i was tan and i didn't like or even know about half the stuff that was popular for a 4th grader to know. i was over sensitive and cried for no good reason.
but i haven't felt shame since elementary school and i flipped it when i realized i wasn't wrong- they were wrong. i mostly don;t need that anymore but most of my defenses were based around actually being better than everyone else and looking down on everything that was for the masses. to a point that it was impossible for me to appreciate anything that was typical or simple or popular. it was impossible for me to be normal- to be typical to be simple. everything was messy and intricate and "oh so [blocked]ing deeeep " wtf ever. it's a silly way to be but that's what i was and it worked for a really long time. granted there was an element of "trying" unconciously based on a need to validate myself and retribution for the shame i had for being different to being with.
becuase i had over identified with being different. i thought there was something necessarily off with me. and i thought it was something wrong or bad until i decided it wasn't.
i skipped over my problem (or "wound") by over identfying and then i got stuck in that till i realized i was shoving myself into some over tight ridiculous mold and not letting myself self be whatever i was. and then i had to learn to love all that too.
i never thought i was replaceable.or feared it.who would replace me that i'm fearing? my parents? why would they do that? even if there were a more normal daughter available -i'm their actual daughter.
-beeotchy for fun and profit-
current lololo8 status:
do you like my eyebrows? they are very grieco. |
Edited by - lovemyth on 03 Apr 2012 6:09:57 PM |
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lovemyth
Member
USA
2934 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 6:20:33 PM
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i would also put into play- the over elaboration of internal states which are interpreted through "significant" subjects. esoteric ?spirituality is a big thing for dd. he's trying to interpret himself through it and communicate his feelings/struggles through it. (IMO)
i have huge tomes of this (though not spirituality). i think it's the connection to something significant that makes playing in the excrement of your soul much more bearable/self valid. art i'm sure is the most credible/familiar expression of this.
-beeotchy for fun and profit-
current lololo8 status:
do you like my eyebrows? they are very grieco. |
Edited by - lovemyth on 03 Apr 2012 6:23:30 PM |
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sunny
Member
USA
9393 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 6:45:28 PM
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When I read about the 4, I see myself in every sentence, but when I meet with E-teachers, they don't see me as a 4.
Katy reminded me that we can be one type while developing the other types too, and can identify with more than one type strongly.
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lovemyth
Member
USA
2934 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 7:04:51 PM
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jol. tis true i think. and useful.
-beeotchy for fun and profit-
current lololo8 status:
do you like my eyebrows? they are very grieco. |
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eidbuser
Member
1957 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 7:38:34 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by JoL
When I read about the 4, I see myself in every sentence, but when I meet with E-teachers, they don't see me as 4
How much do you see yourself in 9? Then again, how much do you see yourself in every type?
How does not being seen as a 4 effect you? |
Edited by - eidbuser on 03 Apr 2012 8:31:16 PM |
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lovemyth
Member
USA
2934 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 7:41:50 PM
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then again the whole not being human thing i only ever heard from a 5.
it didn't make any sense to me. it's a level of "you can't understand me" that i can't even understand. and i've been pretty invested in being misunderstood- but there is usually a key.
there is a separate from members of the human race thing. i tried to explain to him that people work fairly logically and this is what we have so far come up with and even still there must be an internal logic that is discernible if not immediately catagorizeable.
he would have none of it. which made me wonder then what exactly was his self understanding exactly.
maybe some heavy w5s understand this. with also a tri fix or something.
-beeotchy for fun and profit-
current lololo8 status:
do you like my eyebrows? they are very grieco. |
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sunny
Member
USA
9393 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 8:36:25 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by eidbuser
quote:
Originally posted by JoL
When I read about the 4, I see myself in every sentence, but when I meet with E-teachers, they don't see me as 4
How much do you see yourself in 9?
I see the whole 9 pattern in myself. I also see the whole 4 pattern. I do both types.
How does not being seen as a 4 effect you?
It was initially frustrating to experience the 4 in myself and to have it not-seen, but now I see myself as a human who has the potential for the ego-defenses of all the types. It's just a matter of degree and none of it is really *me*. Ego is not me. I'm what's underneath the defenses.
Do you believe your ego is not a blend of different E- defenses? Do you think you (or anyone else) is 100% one type and one type only? Why is it important to figure out the primary type, when you may almost equally use the defenses of 2 or 3 or 4 types. Can you identify what your problems are and start from there?
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Edited by - sunny on 03 Apr 2012 8:42:39 PM |
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eidbuser
Member
1957 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 9:22:29 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by JoL
Do you believe your ego is not a blend of different E- defenses? Do you think you (or anyone else) is 100% one type and one type only? Why is it important to figure out the primary type, when you may almost equally use the defenses of 2 or 3 or 4 types. Can you identify what your problems are and start from there?
I personally see little of the 9 pattern in me as it is defined in the myriad written works. On the boards there there are slightly different interpretations of the types.
I'm a strong proponent of the idea that we have all types within us, and I'm not just paying lip service to the idea like most people do.
But I think it is central for me to see how powerful the 4 fixation is in my psyche. Even if I don't "vibe" (which has become the basis of all typing on these boards) like a 4 it describes for me personally the trap I'm constantly in. We could call it the trap of narcissism or the trap of the 4.
My problems are my narcissism, self-isolating and self-alienating tendencies, my avoidance of human interaction and relationships, developing social skills and work skills, not focusing on productive activity, feeling personal inadequacy and deficiency, keeping a barrier between the internal and the external, self-protection, not being engaged or taking action, and not being consistent and committed to real world activities that would develop my independence and maturity.
quote:
There wasn't the feeling of being "special"
I feel that is a central component of the 4 gestalt, and to me that conflicts very strongly with your other statement:
quote:
When I read about the 4, I see myself in every sentence,
The sense of specialness is referred to practically in almost every other line.
I often mention this inner sense of having a superiority complex and it comes through in what I write; but no one has ever picked up the 4ishness of it, or more importantly, how it conflicts with the 9's ego role of being nobody special, being ordinary, everybody's normal and equal. Most 9s seem to have trouble making any form of grandiose remarks. There's a need to keep themselves small, very small.
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Orpheus
Member
Romania
3999 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 9:37:26 PM
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I've met you in person, and you don't "vibe" 4 in person either. You show up as distinctly 9. You show up as a 9 here, too, but you seem to be occupied with seeing other things.
________________________________
The agony of lovers
burns with the fire of passion.
Lovers leave traces of where they've been.
The wailing of broken hearts
is the doorway to God.
King Night
Mutima kwithu kuli nkongono, para kakuwira comene
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eidbuser
Member
1957 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 9:37:49 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by lovemyth
i would also put into play- the over elaboration of internal states which are interpreted through "significant" subjects. esoteric ?spirituality is a big thing for dd. he's trying to interpret himself through it and communicate his feelings/struggles through it. (IMO)
i think it's the connection to something significant that makes playing in the excrement of your soul much more bearable/self valid. art i'm sure is the most credible/familiar expression of this.
i think that's an interesting point. being an artist gives 4s an excuse to perpetuate their dwelling on inner states. If not the role of an artist, some other position that justifies living introspectively.
i find it interesting that I was attracted to a spiritual path that is thoroughly rooted in psychological self-inquiry. |
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eidbuser
Member
1957 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 9:40:30 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Orpheus
I've met you in person, and you don't "vibe" 4 in person either. You show up as distinctly 9. You show up as a 9 here, too, but you seem to be occupied with seeing other things.
I wasn't limiting it to the board itself. Basing typings on 'vibes' seem incomplete and fundamentally flawed to me.
For instance, if I said that I actually constantly "create disappointment for myself," and have "a chronic disappointment with who [I am]" (your qualifications for type 4) it wouldn't matter or would be explained away (even though this is precisely the opposite of 9's defense of self-narcotizing any unpleasant feelings) because I got the vibe, man.
It's actually somewhat strange for me to think of myself as a 4, because I don't fit my own stereotype of what I think a 4 "looks like."
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Edited by - eidbuser on 03 Apr 2012 10:05:22 PM |
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dusty
Member
2897 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 10:20:38 PM
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eidbuser~
You’ve launched off into over-identification again, obviously splayed out and confused. Just try and see that your mentality is “x is me” and not “I am x”. It is totally 9ish. You sometimes come to a realization about yourself, and then panick about your alienation from yourself and go off trying to find yourself here and here and over there, and any genuine understanding is dust in the wind and you are back to identification with words and images etc.
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sunny
Member
USA
9393 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 10:31:51 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by eidbuser
quote:
Originally posted by JoL
Do you believe your ego is not a blend of different E- defenses? Do you think you (or anyone else) is 100% one type and one type only? Why is it important to figure out the primary type, when you may almost equally use the defenses of 2 or 3 or 4 types. Can you identify what your problems are and start from there?
I personally see little of the 9 pattern in me as it is defined in the myriad written works. On the boards there there are slightly different interpretations of the types.
I'm a strong proponent of the idea that we have all types within us, and I'm not just paying lip service to the idea like most people do.
But I think it is central for me to see how powerful the 4 fixation is in my psyche. Even if I don't "vibe" (which has become the basis of all typing on these boards) like a 4 it describes for me personally the trap I'm constantly in. We could call it the trap of narcissism or the trap of the 4.
There are 9s on this board
My problems are my narcissism, self-isolating and self-alienating tendencies, my avoidance of human interaction and relationships, developing social skills and work skills, not focusing on productive activity, feeling personal inadequacy and deficiency, keeping a barrier between the internal and the external, self-protection, not being engaged or taking action, and not being consistent and committed to real world activities that would develop my independence and maturity.
quote:
There wasn't the feeling of being "special"
It's a matter of degree. I also have my moments of feeling special in my uniqueness, and I've also noticed narcissism in myself that see-saws with inferiority feelings. I have always had extremely low self esteem along with hatred for people and disdain for the human race. I'm very thin-skinned and sensitive and as a kid I had a fantasy of growing up to be an artist. I spent my money on art supplies that I never used.
I would describe myself as more of an "individualist" than a "peacemaker"...wouldn't you?
You're an only child and your role in your family and your relationship with your mother is a piece of the puzzle.
I'm not saying you're a primary 9, I'm just wanting to look at the whole picture. I've also heard you say that you have a strong desire for connection with others in spite of your ambivalence about it.
I feel that is a central component of the 4 gestalt, and to me that conflicts very strongly with your other statement:
quote:
When I read about the 4, I see myself in every sentence,
I don't feel there's conflict. I relate to 4 strongly. I may not be primarily a 4, but I have a strongly developed 4 and I use 4ish defenses as well as 9is defenses.
The sense of specialness is referred to practically in almost every other line.
specialness that is fragile. I relate to that.
I often mention this inner sense of having a superiority complex and it comes through in what I write; but no one has ever picked up the 4ishness of it,
Not true. Right off the bat there's BADMAN saying you're a 4...he's been saying that for a while.
I've notice that in you and I've thought it was possibly related to a strong link to 3, and your role in your family. There are 9s, 3s and 6s here that have superiority complexes.
or more importantly, how it conflicts with the 9's ego role of being nobody special, being ordinary, everybody's normal and equal. Most 9s seem to have trouble making any form of grandiose remarks.
What about df? He's outright admitted his own narcissism, and it comes from the connection to 3. I don't see myself as "nobody special". I see myself as intrinsically equal to others, not lesser or more than anyone else, but that has come from pondering the issue and living with feelings of inferiority alternating with feelings of specialness.
There's a need to keep themselves small, very small.
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Edited by - sunny on 03 Apr 2012 10:37:44 PM |
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MH
Member
12309 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 10:53:06 PM
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quote:
genuine understanding is dust in the wind and you are back to identification with words and images etc.
the song brings to mind type 1.The brilliancy aspect.
Just so you know I am sorry for calling you ignorant. You bit from my perspective without warrant or reason. I legitimately do not see other people on here as inanimate texts unfortunately for me. |
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Orpheus
Member
Romania
3999 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 10:55:18 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by eidbuser
quote:
Originally posted by Orpheus
I've met you in person, and you don't "vibe" 4 in person either. You show up as distinctly 9. You show up as a 9 here, too, but you seem to be occupied with seeing other things.
I wasn't limiting it to the board itself. Basing typings on 'vibes' seem incomplete and fundamentally flawed to me.
For instance, if I said that I actually constantly "create disappointment for myself," and have "a chronic disappointment with who [I am]" (your qualifications for type 4) it wouldn't matter or would be explained away (even though this is precisely the opposite of 9's defense of self-narcotizing any unpleasant feelings) because I got the vibe, man.
It's actually somewhat strange for me to think of myself as a 4, because I don't fit my own stereotype of what I think a 4 "looks like."
Fine, you're a 4.
I agree with dusty. I don't believe you're genuine about any search for truth or spiritual growth or seeing yourself accurately - I'm not even talking about 4 vs 9, but that throughout these endless discussions, you are only interested in seeing yourself certain ways and identifying identifying identifying. It's about portraying a favorable identification to yourself because 9 doesn't sound interesting enough to you.
You have been given all the tools you could ever need here about how to take the first steps towards that real something you claim to desire. but in the end it is a show for the most ridiculous kind of attention couched in flowery language of new age spirituality and a waste of my time.
The only reason anyone thought it was important that you recognize the 9 was to point out how deep your sloth runs for your own sake. Guess we should have known better, you weren't asking for help, just attention.
If it makes you feel better to claim that my perception of you as a 9 is just based on vibes, feel free to disregard the pages of content where i clearly demonstrated how clearly not a 4 you are [this is EXACTLY the sht that is so amazingly 9, kings of denial. only a gut type] in my attempt to aid you in what i thought was your sincere desire.
________________________________
The agony of lovers
burns with the fire of passion.
Lovers leave traces of where they've been.
The wailing of broken hearts
is the doorway to God.
King Night
Mutima kwithu kuli nkongono, para kakuwira comene
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eidbuser
Member
1957 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 10:55:37 PM
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Thanks JoL. I do see myself as an individualist.
I have a question. You describe a history of having serial relationships and attachments to people. How much of your history includes isolation?
I have patterns of extreme self-alienation/isolation. I rarely hang out with people, and I end up rejecting everyone and pushing everyone out of my life. I don't form romantic relationships because I have this pattern of intense idealization, falling in love, and longing for someone so much that I drive myself into states of bliss and "insanity." Then when I start to get closer to a person, I start to see how gross, imperfect, and unfulfilling they actually are.
Looking at my last (and only) relationship, I engaged in intense push/pull all the time. We broke up and got back together all the time. When I use the word intense, I mean I would semi-consciously create some conflict with my ex, we would explode and I would leave. And as soon as the connection was broken, after I rejected this unattractive object, all my feelings of intense neediness and sexual desire would rush back instantly. Having this kind of stormy conflict and splitting up brought in all this frustration that would immediately make me want her again, and the reuniting would be that much sweeter.
It's as though the intimacy and connection and intensity of our relationship would taper out, and then I would semi-intentionally, semi-unconsciously create a fight that would bring more charge back into the relationship. Then after breaking up and getting back together, the reunion would bring back the feeling of connection that I was looking for.
Creating these sparks, breaking up and separating, seems like some magnetic or atomic dance I would play to keep some juice in the relationship alive, long after it was dead.
Maybe all people do that in relationship, but it seemed like I had an unconscious pull to instigate drama and conflict in the relationship to keep the juices secreting.
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dusty
Member
2897 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 10:58:57 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by eidbuser
I'm disturbed by things, but it isn't really 9ishness… I don't think being another type would be any better, and I'm not motivated by an idealization of any type. I don't think having another type would make me any better, cooler, or more desirable to others.
This totally contradicts your past attitudes. You do have big issues with being a 9, and with idealization of 4-5 space, and it clearly hinders you landing on your type as a 9 and really learning about your 9ish patterns. You are often trying to dress them up in 4 or 5 garb.
A lot of what you have said here I don’t see the point in responding to, a lot of it seems like fluff, and I’m not going to follow you around every bend explaining how it isn’t actually 4ish/5ish. That’s fruitless and not getting to the heart of things. But I think both myself and Orpheus have hit on key patterns and traits of yours.
quote:
Originally posted by May Hem
Just so you know I am sorry for calling you ignorant.
Lol, I didn't notice. But apology accepted.
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MH
Member
12309 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 11:03:52 PM
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quote:
and with idealization of 4-5 space, and it clearly hinders you landing on your type as a 9 and really learning about your 9ish patterns. You are often trying to dress them up in 4 or 5 garb.
Is that what he is doing? Legitimate question because I'm getting different reads than either of you. That really does seem like a four trap
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Lol, I didn't notice.
I'm glad
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But apology accepted
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MH
Member
12309 Posts |
Posted - 03 Apr 2012 : 11:06:26 PM
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| And I did not understand the astralscream and yourself comparison, despite being the same type. Hints of fix but not the same or even close really. Shrugs. |
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TYPES of the MEMBERS who want to be typed
