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Elysée
Member
1810 Posts |
 Posted - 21 Dec 2011 : 10:23:53 AM
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I've always been wondering if there was any particular event in my early life that made me the type I am. There are many memories I have of my childhood and most of them were about not belonging and stage moments. Competition.
Do you think there is that one event or a period or circumstances in our lives that set our E-type? If so, what do you think was it in your life?
~ INTJ - 3w2w4 sx/sp sx/so so/sx or something ~
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sunny
Member
USA
9592 Posts |
Posted - 21 Dec 2011 : 10:26:59 AM
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Elysee, I believe I was born with my primary type, but I think my secondary (other tritype) types developed from circumstances I experienced. That's just how I've come to see it. Others will disagree.
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dusty
Member
2935 Posts |
Posted - 21 Dec 2011 : 10:29:06 AM
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GOD
Are you trying to dispute God, huh?
Kill the infidel!
You are the most repellant of creatures. |
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enneathing
Member
4622 Posts |
Posted - 21 Dec 2011 : 10:29:33 AM
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| lol |
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Lake
Member
7204 Posts |
Posted - 21 Dec 2011 : 11:58:18 AM
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9-7-2 here..
I think in-utero stuff is interesting...Recently i found out my parents (who got divorced when i was 12) had major marital troubles when my mom was pregnant with me, and that they were separated for a while when i was an infant. I was apparently a colicy baby, a biter as a young toddler, and then at 2-3 (i hear) became the sweetest little "pixie" girl with an "active" imagination. |
Edited by - Lake on 21 Dec 2011 12:07:36 PM |
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jevoudrais
Member
1700 Posts |
Posted - 21 Dec 2011 : 12:09:10 PM
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A mutation in the X-gene.
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Edited by - jevoudrais on 21 Dec 2011 12:16:12 PM |
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FinalLee
Member
USA
48 Posts |
Posted - 21 Dec 2011 : 12:35:55 PM
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| Nature and Nurture. Who knows in what combination? |
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pork
Member
USA
5220 Posts |
Posted - 21 Dec 2011 : 12:49:22 PM
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A long time ago, this guy I was chatting with said "I can't see anything in your life that would have made you a Four." I couldn't argue with him. I don't think anything in my life experience "made" me a Four. My personality made my experience. It's the way I frame things.
^(oo)^
4w3
SPSX/so
468/359 |
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quartz
Member
1510 Posts |
Posted - 21 Dec 2011 : 2:29:55 PM
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Elysee, this is just what I think at present and I don't purport to be able to prove it - and I reserve the right to change my view at any time. 
Since nature/nurture questions are awfully hard to work out scientifically, we're all mostly going on what makes sense to us personally anyway. I mean, you can do identical twin studies (though I'm not aware of any involving the E, so you basically just get anecdotal evidence and I've seen people give anecdotal evidence both ways). But even that is not proof positive, you can't do a controlled study because (aside from the ethical factors) there are too many variables, and many of the variables are too subtle to be controlled (such as energetic and nonverbal input from caregivers).
So anyway, an idea I've been entertaining is that our genes, the makeup of our particular soul/spirit/essence, and the combination of lessons we need to learn in this lifetime plus contributions we're meant to make in this lifetime, each denote a subset of types, and that where those factors converge becomes our type.
One reason I like this idea is that it would mean type is inborn yet not completely genetic. As pork said, our type determines our experience at least as much as the other way around. And I've heard parents say that their children exhibit different temperaments even in the womb. So I don't think we're born as blank slates, I don't think we all start from the same square at birth.
sx/sp 2w1 - ENFP |
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Hawk
Member
307 Posts |
Posted - 22 Dec 2011 : 7:15:27 PM
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It's luck of the draw with genetics that makes us who we are. Our upbringing does influence us in many ways, but it doesn't change our core type - at best it can help us develop wings (For example, I started out as a type 9, and developed both wings because of my circumstances growing up, but have always remained a 9). A traumatic upbringing likely will start you off early in the unhealthy range of your type, and a really smooth upbringing may start you off in the healthy range, and the healthy and unhealthy ranges of any single type are very different, so it could seem that your personality is changing as you develop into a healthier level - or unhealthier level even - since we know that it's very possible to work on improving your level of health, and things can make us go downhill again as well. The truth is that we aren't changing our personality, but we are improving it as we learn was on how to.
In the end though, why would you want to change your core type? In their healthy ranges, and even in their average ranges, they are all awesome personalities...It is only in their unhealthy ranges that it feels like it's not the best personality to have - in reality it's not the best level of health to have, and there is nothing wrong with whatever type you may be, with whatever wings, and whatever instinctual variant. In fact, a good variety of types really adds flavor to a group!
Most of the advice on how to improve your level of health is pretty straight forward...For anyone who wishes, here's some practical advice on self improvement for each type (just scroll down the page a bit): http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/personalgrowth.asp
(If you know of any wings you might have you may want to look up your wing's improvement methods also.) |
Edited by - Hawk on 22 Dec 2011 7:16:13 PM |
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skyboy
Member
France
1297 Posts |
Posted - 23 Dec 2011 : 7:00:45 PM
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In my former life, I was a 7. Then I died and was very enthusiastic at the idea of reincarnation. There was a necessary step at choosing my type. I immediately read this one, it looked great :
Type 4 : you'll be special, sensitive, creative, intuitive, and will know all the mysteries about the human heart
I said "Cooooool, I want this one !"
A few years after birth, I called them and complained :
"Hey you said nothing about shame, sadness, depression and self-destruction !"
They replied : "This is marketing boy !" |
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MH
Member
12309 Posts |
Posted - 23 Dec 2011 : 8:47:34 PM
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quote:
I think in-utero stuff is interesting
me too.
I don't think anything in my early life gave me my temperment. It has always been a natural. How I responded seemed to fluctuate with the environment I was in at any particular moment |
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AstralScream
Member
2742 Posts |
Posted - 24 Dec 2011 : 05:01:43 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by skyboy
In my former life, I was a 7. Then I died and was very enthusiastic at the idea of reincarnation. There was a necessary step at choosing my type. I immediately read this one, it looked great :
Type 4 : you'll be special, sensitive, creative, intuitive, and will know all the mysteries about the human heart
I said "Cooooool, I want this one !"
A few years after birth, I called them and complained :
"Hey you said nothing about shame, sadness, depression and self-destruction !"
They replied : "This is marketing boy !"
ahhahhaaahaahha...
Sorry, drunk on my misery. Laughter is medicine, right? |
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skyboy
Member
France
1297 Posts |
Posted - 24 Dec 2011 : 06:26:57 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by AstralScream
quote:
Originally posted by skyboy
In my former life, I was a 7. Then I died and was very enthusiastic at the idea of reincarnation. There was a necessary step at choosing my type. I immediately read this one, it looked great :
Type 4 : you'll be special, sensitive, creative, intuitive, and will know all the mysteries about the human heart
I said "Cooooool, I want this one !"
A few years after birth, I called them and complained :
"Hey you said nothing about shame, sadness, depression and self-destruction !"
They replied : "This is marketing boy !"
ahhahhaaahaahha...
Sorry, drunk on my misery. Laughter is medicine, right?
Yeah, Laugh as deep as you can !  |
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sunny
Member
USA
9592 Posts |
Posted - 24 Dec 2011 : 09:15:34 AM
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I was a kid with a lot of energy. When other girls played with dolls I was out riding my bike. I remember stirring up trouble. I tried to create a war against the neighbor kids, because I was bored and needed excitement and an outlet for my aggression. I had a natural bond with animals. Sitting in a classroom all day was hell for me. I was boy crazy from age 5.
It seems like I was born a sx and an instinct type, although I can also remember being phobic about certain things, and then acting in a counter-phobic way.
My father was inconsistent with his discipline, but I knew that aggression would probably be met with an unpleasant and stronger opposing force. My own natural aggressive tendencies would not be allowed...he was too big and too strong (and 8ish).
So, the need to have things be "pleasant" with my father was influential.
The question is, did I "become" a 9, or was the seed (the need for things to be "pleasant" with others) there from the beginning? Would I have been an 8 if I'd had no father? I'm not sure, I think it's possible.
My eldest son is a 7/6...born with a passionate, happy-go-lucky temperament. His daughter is just like me...born with gut energy that has gradually gone underground. I've watched this happen and can see the affect her father has had on her.
My 2nd son is a 5. He's been serious and calm from the moment of birth. His children aren't met with forcefulness and they're turning out to be much more aggressive.
After watching a couple generations grow up, I wonder if a person isn't born with an energy, and the parenting style will nudge the personality over a notch or two, or maybe even push the person into POI or POD permanently. (Which might explain for example, why some people look like gut types/head types/heart types, but develop an ego-type associated with another triad.)
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oceanlife
Member
USA
5645 Posts |
Posted - 24 Dec 2011 : 11:14:33 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by skyboy
In my former life, I was a 7. Then I died and was very enthusiastic at the idea of reincarnation. There was a necessary step at choosing my type. I immediately read this one, it looked great :
Type 4 : you'll be special, sensitive, creative, intuitive, and will know all the mysteries about the human heart
I said "Cooooool, I want this one !"
A few years after birth, I called them and complained :
"Hey you said nothing about shame, sadness, depression and self-destruction !"
They replied : "This is marketing boy !"
 . Just saw this! |
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oceanlife
Member
USA
5645 Posts |
Posted - 24 Dec 2011 : 11:24:40 AM
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I was a fairly calm kid and as my mom says very sensitive. Had trauma from the start. Life-threatening condition + operation as a newborn (way to start off!). I was the last kid to swear (my word of frustration was 'oh crumb!'. Got teased for that).
Was always available to be a friend, yet very quiet and self-contained. I had big dreams and wanted what I wanted very badly (to be or at least be around all the great BMX-ers in California. There was nothing happening in CT that was cool or progressive like that. Skating in swimming pools...rad!!)
Major trauma again at 15.
I've always felt my traumas were from the outside. Others always doing to me (purposely or accidents - my parent's accident)
I feel I'm a 'healer' and have absorbed everything that's happened to me. I'm attempting to transform it all into something beautiful and true.
I'm sure I was my type before 15, however that trauma left the most potent mark (besides the subconscious invasion of the newborn surgery).
Yet it's such a split that I'm hesitant to type myself based solely on either one, and both feel very different
As my wife notes: 'you just couldn't handle all the trauma'.
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Edited by - oceanlife on 24 Dec 2011 11:30:51 AM |
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skyboy
Member
France
1297 Posts |
Posted - 25 Dec 2011 : 05:38:02 AM
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I was also very calm when i was a child. A dreamy creative introvert. Even though the most painful things of type 4 happenned only around 12, i have memories of feeling underminded and hating my 'competitor' when i was 4 years old in a flash. This competitor then became my only childhood freind. There was nothing wrong about him. It was just the first signs of envy.
I believe we were born with our type but it has different manisfatations from childhood to adulthood. |
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Zapperbazzer
Member
1008 Posts |
Posted - 29 Dec 2011 : 09:23:43 AM
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When I was about 5 or 6 I was convinced I was an alien from another planet solely because I could produce a clicking noise in my ear by moving my jaw. I saw that as evidence that I couldn't be human because I didn't think human beings should be able to do that.
So I was doing my fixation without a lot of environmental input.
I was interested in the sun for some reason, trying to look at it through my fingers. One of my early memories is of being maybe 2 or 3 years old and beig worried that my brother would be bored wherever he was (he had just started school). So I was holding up a toy car to the sun thinking it could somehow teleport it to him.
Now that I think about it, there was alot of E1 stuff. It was something spoken about ages ago on here, the integration point is our soul child so one poster was wondering whether that type would literally have been quite present in childhood.
My environment was very religious, my school in the 90s was quite religious (school assemblies about hell) more than would seem to be allowed now. I went through a phase of being really religious which I'm not sure how common that is for children. At one point I wasn't allowing myself to swear amongst other things which caused problems with getting on with other kids. Looking back I had a lot of oneish behaviours and was considered "mature" for my age. My mum at one point was worried I seemed too grown up for my age.
During my teens I decided religion was dumb and didn't have many one behaviours at all and I'm now considered a childish adult, interesting |
Edited by - Zapperbazzer on 29 Dec 2011 09:34:05 AM |
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sunny
Member
USA
9592 Posts |
Posted - 29 Dec 2011 : 09:42:47 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by joy_unit
When I was about 5 or 6 I was convinced I was an alien from another planet solely because I could produce a clicking noise in my ear by moving my jaw. I saw that as evidence that I couldn't be human because I didn't think human beings should be able to do that.
So I was doing my fixation without a lot of environmental input.
I was interested in the sun for some reason, trying to look at it through my fingers. One of my early memories is of being maybe 2 or 3 years old and beig worried that my brother would be bored wherever he was (he had just started school). So I was holding up a toy car to the sun thinking it could somehow teleport it to him.
That sounds just like something I would do ju. How do you type yourself?
Now that I think about it, there was alot of E1 stuff. It was something spoken about ages ago on here, the integration point is our soul child so one poster was wondering whether that type would literally have been quite present in childhood.
My environment was very religious, my school in the 90s was quite religious (school assemblies about hell) more than would seem to be allowed now. I went through a phase of being really religious which I'm not sure how common that is for children. At one point I wasn't allowing myself to swear amongst other things which caused problems with getting on with other kids. Looking back I had a lot of oneish behaviours and was considered "mature" for my age. My mum at one point was worried I seemed too grown up for my age.
During my teens I decided religion was dumb and didn't have many one behaviours at all and I'm now considered a childish adult, interesting
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Zapperbazzer
Member
1008 Posts |
Posted - 29 Dec 2011 : 09:54:04 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by JoL
That sounds just like something I would do ju. How do you type yourself?
Thanks for asking, I go with sp/sx 4w3 now. I do relate to nine alot though and have had a few moments where I've been like 'hmmm could be(?)'. It's when I spend time with other nines that those thoughts dissipate, I don't make easy company I'm very high strung. According to some on here sp/sx can be a nineish stacking. I love my comfort. Nines actually feel more robust than me alot of the time.
That one example does sound nineish empathetic and if someone around me isn't ok I am affected, but I don't think I am the reflexive empathiser that nines are. |
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oceanlife
Member
USA
5645 Posts |
Posted - 29 Dec 2011 : 11:13:46 AM
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Something I remember from youth was always asking 'How do I know? How do I know?' I'd ask my mom questions and she as a 9 wouldn't give me a direct or really sufficient answer, so I never felt like I got my questions answered.
My dad had a ton of opinions and I took those in. I listened very carefully. He was intellectual and had an active mind. Then I lost him and that rapport.
I'm always asking 'how do they know?' 'How do I know?' if somethings right, if I love someone, if what I'm doing is what I should be doing.
For me in my PTSD-ness, I always feel like I should be doing something other than I'm doing. It's constant vigilance. 'Something bad may happen if I relax and get content and focus only on myself and my needs and what I really want to do.' Cause for me something bad DID happen when I was just being a content kid, in my own world.
So, as opposed to some 4's here, I don't necessarily feel I was doomed/damaged/defective from birth. I feel like external events created my type, and I would have been 'fine' or OK if they didn't happen. So I am attached to what happened.
6 huh???
However I still am focused on Who Am I and loss..disconnection...being overlooked, potentially passed over. Sensitive to not connecting with others...to all the superficiality and fakeness in the world. To too many people putting ego in front of authenticity..to trampling over others, oblivious to other's feelings, in quest of some personal agenda.
Still 6?
again..the questions  |
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oceanlife
Member
USA
5645 Posts |
Posted - 29 Dec 2011 : 11:17:27 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by skyboy
I was also very calm when i was a child. A dreamy creative introvert. Even though the most painful things of type 4 happenned only around 12, i have memories of feeling underminded and hating my 'competitor' when i was 4 years old in a flash. This competitor then became my only childhood freind. There was nothing wrong about him. It was just the first signs of envy.
I believe we were born with our type but it has different manisfatations from childhood to adulthood.
I as well. Writing little made up stories about frogs on tiny little notecards. I too did have one best friend at that time, but I didn't see it as competition. We were quite bonded. However I did want him to 'notice' me. We'd both be riding our BMX bikes and I have videos of us where I was constantly 'hey look at me, look at me!' I didn't pay a lot of attention to him
lol |
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skyboy
Member
France
1297 Posts |
Posted - 29 Dec 2011 : 1:26:45 PM
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My childhood friend and I were also riding BMXs bikes. Do you think this is a sign ?
The "competition" I'm talking about only lasted 5 seconds. This is the dark hating pride of type 4. I remember that day very well, because I didn't understand why I was feeling that. It sounds like "who do you think you are, how dare you speak to me ?". I felt that with most of my friends during a few seconds when I first met them. The contradiction of type 4 of wanting to relate, while rejecting people at the same time.
Afterwards our friendship turned to playing in a complex fantasy word. He followed me in playing with the characters I imagined. As a child, I loved to feel some sort romantic heroism. I still do actually...
I had a very happy childhood. |
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Acronach
Member
24 Posts |
Posted - 29 Dec 2011 : 8:01:08 PM
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Not sure if this made me a 5 or not, but I remember my mom being crazy about teaching me this and that when I was like 3... I was the only kid in kindergarten who could read and add... and today if you give me a list of like 10 digit numbers or something I could add them up 5x faster than other people 
Type 5 >:D |
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arenee
Member
USA
14 Posts |
Posted - 30 Dec 2011 : 09:22:37 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Lake
9-7-2 here..
I think in-utero stuff is interesting...Recently i found out my parents (who got divorced when i was 12) had major marital troubles when my mom was pregnant with me, and that they were separated for a while when i was an infant. I was apparently a colicy baby, a biter as a young toddler, and then at 2-3 (i hear) became the sweetest little "pixie" girl with an "active" imagination.
Wow! I'm a 9-7-2 and I have the SAME childhood story. All of it. That's very interesting. |
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What caused your type?
