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9toes
Member

Canada
343 Posts

Posted - 11 Feb 2014 :  8:27:36 PM  Show Profile  Visit 9toes's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Wow! Reading the threads on here has been incredibly enlightening for me!

I was certain my grandmother was a 1, and now I think that perhaps she is a 2 with a 1 wing.

I'm looking for help with typing her.

She is highly critical, and as an adult I have discovered that she quite enjoys gossiping about people that she doesn't know.
e.g. wow, look at so-and-so with all those tattoos/piercings/makeup/kids (whatever) you'd think they would ______.
She OFTEN does what was described in another thread. She will buy a gift (that is very obviously her "love language"), give unexpectedly. Then regardless of whether it was needed, expect extreme gratitude in return. I grew up feeling incredibly guilty for all the things she would do for me, because I always felt as though I owed her something, in spite of the act/gift/whatever being completely unasked for.

She is HIGHLY critical of everyone who doesn't do things the way she thinks they should, or think the way she does. But insists that she is "helping" by controlling the way other people think/behave. She can be VERY intrusive and people usually keep their distance because it is difficult to even have a conversation if you don't happen to agree with her.
e.g. She will bring up an issue, dislike your response, then dramatically change the subject in an extremely agitated tone.

She is very introverted, but holds a conversation better (quite admirably), and effectively than anyone I know.

She has a lot of anxiety, and worries about everything. I think that is why her controlling ways kick in - as a defense strategy. But she also likes to blind herself to things that bother her. For example, she hates killing of all kinds and by all rights should be a vegetarian, and despises hunters (my SO) yet eats meat daily. It's things like this that made me think perhaps she was a 1w9.

I'm fairly confident about the type, do I have the wing correct? Any other insights that anyone would like to chip in about? Health levels must not be good, I imagine - or is it more average?

loscust
Member

539 Posts

Posted - 11 Feb 2014 :  9:00:22 PM  Show Profile  Visit loscust's Homepage  Reply with Quote
the wing gets "splashed out" out there on others much more often than the primary type I've noticed, to the point of being taken for primary type ... the primary type is a mode behavior that the person holds themselves to, it's internalized, while the wing is something that gets projected and preached out there somewhere, external to the person, and 2w1s and 9w1s often make an impression of being more critical than 1s

i was watching a movie with a 2w1, the plot was about a professor who has left his family and kept sleeping with some of his female students until he fell in love with one of them, and this 2w1 couldn't watch it without showering him with a barrage of criticism every ten minutes about how he's immoral, how he left his family, how he's not even a man

she does expect gratitude from others but she doesn't try to press it out by means of giving uneeded gifts, the need is still very strong as she's admitted to me once that she will sit down and praise herself especially for chores she's done around the house because she doesn't hear enough praise for this from her family


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9toes
Member

Canada
343 Posts

Posted - 11 Feb 2014 :  9:12:54 PM  Show Profile  Visit 9toes's Homepage  Reply with Quote
That's very interesting, and sounds much like my grandmother.

There is another person I have in mind, whom I thought was a two for a long time, but now when I think of the wings, she must be a 2w3 because she is so very different from my grandmother.
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