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Laurie
Member
1560 Posts |
 Posted - 18 Apr 2006 : 04:25:39 AM
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I have always found it strange that most of us respond very positively to a compliment on how beautiful you are or your looks. While there is a lot that can be done to enhance your looks, generally most people get complimented for their natural beauty not for the effort that they have put in to be attractive and pleasing to the eye of others. It seems strange that this puffs us up when we have done nothing to earn it. I include myself in this category. While intellectually I acknowledge the inappropriatness of this response, a compliment still makes me feel good. Perhaps it is tied with the instinctive need to reproduce and the knowledge that being attractive maximises your chances at this.Maybe it is different for other types who have a true internal value system that does not want for external validation of their worth.
Laurie 1w2 ENTJ |
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Ambassador of Pain
Member
Australia
384 Posts |
Posted - 18 Apr 2006 : 08:11:57 AM
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I've never really taken well to compliments... Its a bit like being given gifts... it just doesnt do anything for me unless I feel a genuine intent... in which case its not the compliment or the gift that I am responding too at all.
If anything I wish I had have said some of the thoughts I have had about others, so often I had wanted to compliment, but just couldnt bring myself to say the words....
I can appreciate nice clothes, etc, but frankly they pale in comparison to native beauty.
Amb
4/5 sx/soc |
Edited by - Ambassador of Pain on 18 Apr 2006 08:26:52 AM |
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Stormy
Member
United Kingdom
12541 Posts |
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entre1
Member
4440 Posts |
Posted - 18 Apr 2006 : 08:56:35 AM
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I react anything but positively to complements...internal attitude is like...gee...whatever...you don't know me...now where were we...actually don't react much at all and remain impersonal...which is most uncomfortable to the complementer...to have the complement unacknowledged...kinda like when people smile at you you don't smile back
"THE SKY IS FALLING"
*4w5 SX/SP*
4dom...keeping it dreamy
so it will go down easy... |
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beautyistruth
Member
United Kingdom
1588 Posts |
Posted - 18 Apr 2006 : 09:34:02 AM
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Compliments are wonderful. It is not often I seriously believe them though.
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Vorn
Member
United Kingdom
883 Posts |
Posted - 18 Apr 2006 : 10:14:48 AM
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For the most part they just seem ingratiating and sycophantic, but genuine compliments are touching.
 sexual seven. |
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Chocolate
Member
USA
981 Posts |
Posted - 18 Apr 2006 : 7:56:21 PM
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It's true. I tend to appreciate personal observances as well.. thoughtful observances.
Superficial-type compliments not really. At this point in my life, mostly I am neutral about them. I had my first "cat-call" of the spring season recently---a guy shouted something from the safety of his truck. and just tonight, on the walk home down my street, a man in a car rolled down his window "looking lovely young lady".....what do they get from that?
in my neighborhood, it could be threatening for some women to be on the receiving end of that kind of attention when walking alone. |
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thepeacemaker
Member
USA
1373 Posts |
Posted - 19 Apr 2006 : 01:25:38 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Chocolate
It's true. I tend to appreciate personal observances as well.. thoughtful observances.
Superficial-type compliments not really. At this point in my life, mostly I am neutral about them. I had my first "cat-call" of the spring season recently---a guy shouted something from the safety of his truck. and just tonight, on the walk home down my street, a man in a car rolled down his window "looking lovely young lady".....what do they get from that?
Maybe one woman in a hundred would hop in the car with him, and he's playing the numbers.
9w8 sx/sp/so ISFP |
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Odyssey
Member
2297 Posts |
Posted - 04 Nov 2009 : 4:10:49 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by entre1
I react anything but positively to complements...internal attitude is like...gee...whatever...you don't know me...now where were we...actually don't react much at all and remain impersonal...which is most uncomfortable to the complementer...to have the complement unacknowledged...kinda like when people smile at you you don't smile back.
I've historically been suspicious of people who complimented me, about anything. The fact that a compliment IS A JUDGMENT, made it unworthy and inappropriate in my mind. Basically, I don't like to be judged, at all... weighed, calibered, sized up. It's like NO judgment, good or bad, will ever do me justice. It will never encompass the complete picture, so it will be wrong, and consequenctly worthless. (I'm happy to report [because you care] that I can now take a compliment and even be nice to the complimentor, although the compliment means nothing to me unless the complimentor is someone I hold in very high regard).
I find that a lot of 5ish people have the same kind of issue with any expression of feeling : they can't take a 'declaration' without freaking out. The feeling of responsibility, of having to deal with another's (perceived) expectations is unbearable.
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Edited by - Odyssey on 04 Nov 2009 4:15:26 PM |
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Jewel2
Member
Canada
177 Posts |
Posted - 04 Nov 2009 : 4:38:02 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Chocolate
It's true. I tend to appreciate personal observances as well.. thoughtful observances.
Superficial-type compliments not really. At this point in my life, mostly I am neutral about them. I had my first "cat-call" of the spring season recently---a guy shouted something from the safety of his truck. and just tonight, on the walk home down my street, a man in a car rolled down his window "looking lovely young lady".....what do they get from that?
I hate it when that happens....especially in a small town like mine. My response would be something like "shut up and get back to work Bob before I tell Sandra you were whistling at other girls" |
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radical_ed
Member
1314 Posts |
Posted - 04 Nov 2009 : 4:41:08 PM
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Way to revive a dead topic. The topic was created in 2006? Whoa. 
I like compliments, even if they're insincere. To me, compliments tell me a lot about what a person values, or what that person wants me to think that person values. Thus, compliments are valuable insights into the compliment-or.
It's rare that I hear a sincere, original compliment. I treasure those especially, because it indicates that the person actually gives a damn. People giving a damn about anything or anyone, I have found, are rare, and thus, are special to me. So I remember compliments from those people.
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Radical Edward
sx/sp 7w8 ENTP
Why the hell not? |
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Art_Skidmore
Member
13305 Posts |
Posted - 05 Nov 2009 : 06:23:27 AM
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| bars are full of compliamentary personalities and so are churches and schools and...enneagramic workshops....just kidding...your all wonderful..really! |
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Compliments
