The past few weeks at The Enneagram Institute have kept us all quite busy. Among other things, the Faculty Read more...
The first book to integrate the Enneagram with spiritual & psychological exercises.
The basic introduction to the Enneagram with the scientifically validated RHETI, v. 2.5.
The complete text of Enneagram theory and descriptions.
“We have been receiving a lot of inquiries lately from friends and Enneagram enthusiasts saying how much they miss the Barn and asking when it will once again be ready for EI events. Read more...
“I have returned!” These words were addressed by General Douglas MacArthur on October 20, 1944 to the people of the Philippines as Allied forces landed at Leyte and began the offensive against the occupying Axis forces there. With perhaps a bit less fanfare but with (maybe?) equal fervor, we at The Enneagram Institute are happy to announce “The EnneaThoughts have returned!”. Read more...
What a bumpy ride this website transition has been! We know this is a major problem for many of you. We deeply regret this. We are working–and will continue to work—behind the scenes and with you until we have made it all right. If there is anything we can do for you, please contact us. Read more...
While being especially preoccupied these past few days with Barn renovations, contracts, and webpage switchovers, I realized that something had been missing—I was not receiving my daily EnneaThought—that brief, but often very insightful, message that starts my day and which frequently forms a part of my morning meditation and examination. Read more...
This week we are celebrating two significant events here at The Enneagram Institute: First, the unveiling of our new and updated webpage and, second, the execution of the general construction contract for rebuilding the Barn. Read more...
For years, we have received many requests to begin offering advanced and ongoing courses—often from students who have completed the Training program and are seeking something more.Read more...
As with all double-type relationships, two Enneagram Sixes generally bring the same qualities to each other. Therein lies both a main source of the attraction as well as one of the main pitfalls. Thus, the Level of health of each person is especially important for these types of relationships as are their dominant instincts. Strong Six couples understand each other deeply and make a point of trying to understand what they don’t understand. Two Sixes usually bond with each other very quickly sensing a kindred spirit, and there can rapidly develop a playful, bantering, buddies-in-arms kind of excited collusion and relief, like two kids who have found each other in the woods and can help each other to safety. A double Six couple will have a sense of shared secrets and values, of intellectual stimulation and questioning that they find both useful and stimulating.
Trust is extremely important to both Sixes, and once it has been established, it allows them to relax and enjoy themselves as they do with few others. Trust allows double Six couples to think aloud to test ideas, voice doubts and suspicions, and to discover what they really feel about various things. They give each other a lot of support and mutual protection, and are ready to come to the other’s aid without hesitation. Loyalty, commitment, and a “You’re my friend—no questions asked” attitude reinforces the feelings of security and safety that they build together. There can also be a great deal of unspoken sensitivity and delicacy in a double Six relationship. Sixes are generally not adept at talking about their feelings directly, so their feelings and attitudes are mostly expressed in their actions and in the depth of their dedication and steadfastness. Each person also inspires the other as each works for the other’s welfare and happiness—often more energetically than they would for their own alone.
Double Six couples (whether in intimate or professional situations) tend to be emotionally reactive, and once a spirit of negativity or scarcity enters the picture, their fears can begin to feed off of each other. Double Six pairs can get into worst case scenarios and other forms of catastrophizing, each magnifying problems until they both feel like crises are everywhere and that they are doomed. Sometimes extreme reactions will cause them to act impulsively, without thinking through their situation or finding an adequate solution to their problem. They may arbitrarily take an action—any action—that promises to relieve their anxiety. On the other hand, double Six couples can become indecisive and fall into a feeling of stalemate and confusion, unable to act and unable to get some perspective on their problems. Since they are also emotionally reactive, they tend to become edgy and argumentative with each other, often blaming the other for the situation and for not providing the solution. Shifting blame back and forth can be like a ping pong match whose main objectives are to keep connection with the other by keeping them in the argument—and to buy time to work through their anxiety so that a solution may appear.
Double Six couples can thus be one of the most keyed up of pairings with lots of yelling, outbursts, arguments, blaming—and making up—in the mix. In the lower Levels, there can be an openly worried, semi-hysterical atmosphere that keeps everyone on edge with nervous pessimism. And yet, it is difficult to break the pattern because so many of the double Sixes’ fears are irrational and based on speculations about the future. There is no way to settle them logically until the future happens. Double Six couples therefore tend to wear each other out with negativity, worrying, suspicion, and eventually mistrust of each other. Accusations and feelings of betrayal or lack of support can be part of the picture as this couple sours and finds it almost impossible to reestablish trust and the old friendly, playful spirit that they once had.
For further understanding about this type combination, read more about the Stress Arrow and how Sixes behave when they are moving along it.
Private consultations are available to discuss your relationships issues, or to ask questions about your type and its compatibility with other types.
The accuracy and usefulness of these Relationship Combinations pages are made possible by The Insight Approach of Don Riso and Russ Hudson. For the only in-depth Training Program that covers all elements of the complete Enneagram system, consider coming to the Enneagram Institute Training Program.
Copyright Notice: All the relationship combination materials given here, including those that have previously been published on this website are copyrighted for the current year by The Enneagram Institute, and are not available for commercial use or publication by others. See our Guidelines for use of Riso-Hudson materials.
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