Enneagram Type Three (the Achiever)
Enneagram Type Four (the Individualist)
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
These two types can form something of a complementary relationship, with each bringing important qualities to the relationship that the other generally lacks. Enneagram Fours can teach Threes how to talk about themselves on a deeper level and help acknowledge and process their feelings. They can also bring Threes more sensitivity, a feeling for beauty and for the non-practical but fulfilling aspects of life. Finding the Three's heart's desire is an extremely important area of self-awareness in which Fours can play a helpful role to Threes. Fours can bring a sense of style and presentation, rich communication, and sense of refinement. Threes model many of the qualities that Fours would like to develop in themselves, and Threes are well-suited to helping Fours gain new skills. Threes can bring a good deal of tact and diplomacy to handling Fours' emotional reactions and their sometimes too-sensitive feelings and self-doubts. Knowing what to say and when to say it-and what not to say—to a Four can be crucial for building trust in the relationship and avoiding inadvertent episodes when either feels humiliated or embarrassed. Threes can bring a sense of hope and ambition to the relationship, practical goal-setting, coaching and behavior management techniques that help Fours get out of a slump or a period of low energy. Threes can coach Fours on how to get on with practical matters and to act professionally despite the shifts in their feelings and self-doubts.
Since both types are driven by (often unconscious) feelings and reactions, this can be an intense and passionate coupling. Both are aware of "image" issues and about how others perceive them, and so this couple will be noteworthy for its energy, flair, sense of style, and enjoyment of the finer things of life. They may both feel a connection with the other that goes beyond words or reason into another realm as if they had known each other from a previous existence or that the other is some kind of soul mate.
Potential Trouble Spots or Issues
Private consultations are available to discuss your relationships issues, or to ask questions about your type and its compatibility with other types.
The accuracy and usefulness of these Relationship Combinations pages are made possible by The Insight Approach of Don Riso and Russ Hudson. For the only in-depth Training Program that covers all elements of the complete Enneagram system, consider coming to the Enneagram Institute Training Program.
Copyright Notice: All the relationship combination materials given here, including those that have previously been published on this website are copyrighted for the current year by The Enneagram Institute, and are not available for commercial use or publication by others. See our Guidelines for use of Riso-Hudson materials.
The Enneagram Institute is a Service Mark of Enneagram Personality Types, Inc.
All Images, Content and Layout Copyright The Enneagram Institute 1998-2013.
[Home] [Back to Top] [Free RHETI Sampler] [Free QUEST Test] [Full RHETI Enneagram Test] [QUEST–TAS Test] [IVQ Instincts Test] [The Enn. Cards–Sorts] [Interpreting Test Results] [Type Descriptions] [How the System Works] [Levels of Development] [The Traditional Enneagram] [Practical Applications] [Relationships—Type Combinations] [Personal Growth] [Enneagram & Spirituality] [Addictions & Type] [Business Resources] [Enneagram FAQs] [Articles & Interviews] [Discussion Board] [Free EnneaFeatures Viewer Download] [Free RHETI Sampler Download] [Free Materials] [Books & Resources] [Schedule] [Training Program] [Workshops] [Private Consultations] [About The Institute] [Institute Network] [Teachers & Referral Listing] [Guestbook] [Contact The Institute]