Growing Relationships

Enneagram Type Five (the Investigator)
with
Enneagram Type Nine (the Peacemaker)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship

An Enneagram Five/Nine pair gives each other a great deal of personal and emotional space for activities and for doing things on their own. Neither one would hover or intrude on the other, although the capacity for a healthy emotional connection and interest in each other is still present. This pair is characterized by a sense of quiet, non-intrusiveness, spaciousness, and respect for each other's boundaries, work, and individuality. Nines are undemanding and uncritical. Nines are the more emotional of the two types, but even so, Nines do not always know what they are feeling or how to express themselves adequately. They appreciate the Five's ability to be curious about them and to draw them out of the kind of "inner fuzziness" that Nines can get into. Nines appreciate the Five's intellectual sharpness, ability to ask the right questions, to remember things, to be objective, and their patience. Fives appreciate Nine's warmth—and when there is a real personal or sexual connection between them—their nurturing qualities. Fives usually feel dry and cut off from emotional sustenance; if they find this in someone, it is likely to be a Nine who can offer unquestioned acceptance, sensual comfort, and tenderness. Nines often make Fives relax-deeply and completely, something Fives very much need.

Both types have an intellectual component and if they are more or less on an intellectual par with each other, they can be a powerful and stimulating couple: the pungent wit of the Five is softened by the droll understatement of the Nine. Both appreciate the irrational and the absurd, although Fives dig far deeper into the dark areas of life than Nines. This pair can be a case of two people initiating the other into very different world views: the idealism and the realism, the sunlight and the darkness both have a place here.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues

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