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4
THE INDIVIDUALIST
Overview of Type Four
In
the artist of all kinds I think one can detect an inherent dilemma, which
belongs to the co-existence of two trends, the urgent need to communicate and
the still more urgent need not to be found....
What
more fruitful way to redressing the balance than by portraying one's inner
world in a work of art and then persuading other people to accept it, if not as
real, at least as highly significant? Part of the satisfaction which a creative
person obtains from his achievement may be the feeling that, at last, some part
of his inner life is being accepted which has never been accorded recognition
before. Moreover, since art became an individual matter rather than a task for
anonymous craftsmen, creative work is generally recognized as being especially
apt for expressing the personal style of an individual (which is of course
closely related to his inner world). The value we place upon authenticity is
often exaggerated; yet there is a sense in which it is justified. However good
a painting or a piece of music may be, taken quite apart from its creator, the
fact that it is or is not another expression of the personality of a particular
artist is important. For it either is or is not an addition to our knowledge of
that artist; a further revelation of that mysterious, indefinable and
fascinating thing—his personality. (D. W. Winnicott, quoted in Anthony
Storr, The Dynamics of Creation, 58.)
The nature of creativity will probably
always remain mysterious because its basis is irrational—in the feelings and
unconscious of those who create—and because, as Winnicott notes, part of the
motive for creating is to remain concealed, to be unfound by others. Yet the
motives given for artistic work—to communicate and to conceal
the self—are but two possible motives which any person may have for creating.
These two motives are, however, particularly appropriate to the Four, the
artistic temperament among the personality types. Of course, members of any
other personality type can become artists in the sense of making a livelihood
by producing works of art, however that is defined. Fours, however, are in
search of their identities, and art is the foremost means they have of finding
themselves, as well as their way of reporting to the world what they have
discovered.
In the Feeling TriadThe
Four is the personality type which emphasizes the subjective world of feelings,
in creativity and individualism, in introversion and self-absorption, and in
self-torment and self-hatred. In this personality type we see creative artists,
romantic aesthetes, and withdrawn dreamers, people with powerful feelings who
feel different from others because self-consciousness blocks them from getting
outside themselves.
Fours
are the most self-aware of the types, and this is the basis of what is most
positive and negative about them. The constant conflict we see in Fours is
between their need to be aware of themselves, so they can find themselves, and,
at the same time, their need to move beyond self-awareness, so they will not be
trapped in self-consciousness. The tension between self-awareness and
self-transcendence can be resolved in creativity. In the creative moment,
healthy Fours harness their emotions without constricting them, not only producing
something beautiful but discovering who they are. In the moment of inspiration,
they are, paradoxically both most themselves and most liberated from
themselves. This is why all forms of creativity are so valued by Fours, and why
in its inspired state, creativity is so hard to sustain. Fours can be inspired
only if they have first transcended themselves, something which is extremely
threatening to their self-awareness. In a sense, then, only by learning not to
look for themselves will they find themselves and renew themselves in the
process.
The
problem with average Fours, however, is that they try to understand themselves
by introspecting upon their feelings. As they move inward in a search for self,
they become so acutely self-conscious that their subjective emotional states
become the dominant reality for them. And, because even average Fours are so
involved with their emotions, they do not usually express their feelings
directly. Instead, they communicate their feelings indirectly though art, if they
have they talent and training to do so.
The
overall direction of their personalities therefore is inward, toward increasing
self-absorption, because Fours feel that they are different from other people,
and they want to know why they feel this way. Ironically, however, they try to
find their place in life by withdrawing from it so they can trace the labyrinth
of their emotions. But the result of their withdrawal is that even average
Fours have noticeable difficulties coping with life, while unhealthy Fours have
some of the most severe emotional difficulties of all the personality types.
Fours
tend to compound their emotional difficulties in some striking ways. Because
Fours have identified themselves with their feelings, they begin to look for
intensity of feeling in all of their activities. The more intensely they feel
something the more real they feel. Thus, average Fours begin to employ their
imaginations to "stir up" their emotional life. They can take even the most
transitory encounter and dwell on it for hours to extract all of its "emotional
juice." The problem is that it becomes difficult for Fours to dwell deeply in
their moods and fantasies if they are still interacting with others. Their
feeling states and self-image become rarefied to a degree that reality will not
support. Increasingly, they begin to withdraw from life and real relationships
and experiences, both to prevent others from interfering with their strong
reveries and moods, and to avoid potential embarrassment and humiliation. As they
draw the curtains and turn away from life, however, they cut themselves off
from the wellspring of their feelings and their creativity—participation in
the world.
In
healthy Fours, however, the rich life of the unconscious becomes accessible and
is given shape. More than any other personality type, healthy Fours are the
bridge between the spiritual and the animal in human nature because they are so
aware of these two sides of themselves. They sense in themselves the depths to
which human beings can descend, as well as the heights to which they can be
swept up. No other personality type is as habitually aware of the potentials
and predicaments of human nature: human beings are spiritual animals occupying
an uneasy place between two orders of existence. Fours sense both sides of
their potentially conflicting natures, and they suffer intensely or are
ecstatic because of them. This is why, at their best, healthy Fours create
something which can move others deeply because they have been able to get in
touch with the hidden depths of human nature by delving deeply into their own.
By doing so, they transcend themselves, and are able to discover something
universal about human nature, fusing personal conflicts and divergent feelings
into art.
But,
like everyone else, most Fours do not live at the peak of their potential. In
response to anxiety, they turn inward, becoming self-conscious, particularly
about the negativity they discover in themselves. To offset their negative
feelings, they use their imaginations to make their lives more bearable. As a
result, average Fours begin to withdraw from ordinary life. They become
self-absorbed and do not learn how to relate to people or how to manage in the
practical world. They feel like outsiders, somehow flawed and different from
others, unable to break through the barrier of self-consciousness that
separates them from easy commerce with the world.
And if
they are unhealthy, their negative feelings feed upon themselves because Fours
have closed themselves off from any other influences. Unhealthy Fours are so
completely alienated from others, and ironically, even from themselves, that
they despair of ever finding a way out of their excruciating
self-consciousness. They realize that their search for self has led them into a
world of useless fantasies and illusions. Understanding only too clearly what
they have done to themselves, and fearing that it is too late to do anything
about it, unhealthy Fours hate and torment themselves, turning against
themselves to destroy what they have become.
Problems with IdentityFours
find it difficult to transcend self-consciousness because just the reverse is
what they want: to become more conscious of their states and feelings so that
they can find themselves and arrive at a firm sense of identity. But as they
become more self-conscious, Fours become increasingly drawn into unresolved,
contradictory, and irrational feelings which they want to sort out before they
dare express them.
Self-discovery
is an extremely important motive for Fours because they never feel that their
sense of self is strong enough to sustain their identities, particularly if
they need to assert themselves. Because their feelings change so readily, their
sense of identity is not solid, dependable, in their own hands. They feel
undefined and uncertain of themselves, as if they were a gathering cloud which
may produce something of great power or merely dissipate in the next breeze.
Fours can never tell how the next moment will affect them, so it is difficult
for them to count on themselves. Something is missing in the self, something
they cannot quite put their fingers on, but which they feel they lack
nonetheless.
The
difficulty is that average Fours may not know what their feelings are until
after they have expressed them personally or artistically. But if they express
all that they feel, they fear that they may reveal too much, exposing
themselves to shame or punishment. On the other hand, by not expressing their
feelings, average Fours undermine the possibility of discovering themselves by
getting caught in endless self-absorption. They become aware of being aware of
themselves—their consciousness is filled with little more than fantasies and
memories, ultimately leading to illusions, regrets, and a wasted life.
As
Fours become more fearful that they cannot find a solid identity in themselves,
they begin to create one out of whatever random tendencies they find. Thus,
matters of taste, likes and dislikes, and emotional reactions become the
materials which Fours use to construct an identity. Because their sense of self
is so tenuous, however, Fours begin to put a great deal of weight on what would
be for others relatively unimportant traits. ("I only wear black." "I listen to
Puccini, but never Wagner.") It is
important to note that most of these personal traits function by negation.
Fours may not know who they are, but they certainly believe they know who they
are not. While these idiosyncrasies can be fairly harmless in and of
themselves, as Fours increasingly depend on them to figure out who they are,
they begin to paint themselves into a corner. In the interest of maintain a
narrowly defined self-image, Fours may refuse to engage in many basic
activities necessary to live their lives. ("Poets don’t work in an office.")
As we
have seen in the other types of the Feeling Triad, the Two and the Three, much
of the Four’s energy goes into maintaining a consistent self-image which is
somehow at odds with the real, essential self. Twos did this by looking for
others to respond to their goodness in ways that would make them feel lovable.
Threes kept their self-image intact by getting validation for their
achievements and giving themselves inner "pep talks."
Fours do something akin to the inner talk of the Threes in that they maintain
the sense of identity through a continuous inner dialogue and referencing of
their emotional reactions. Of course, Fours want someone to validate their
self-images, too, but they are less dependent on the affirmation of others than
Twos or Threes. In fact, much of their identity is tied to their feelings about
not having the affirmation of others. Feeling different and
misunderstood is as central to the Four’s false self-image as being only good
and loving is to the Two’s or being a totally competent "winner" is to the
Three’s.
Parental OrientationFours
are disconnected from both parents. As children, they did not identify with
either their mothers or their fathers. ("I am not like my mother; I am not
like my father.") They may have had either unhappy or solitary childhoods
as a result of their parents' marital problems, divorce, illness, or simply
because of personality conflicts within the family. In some cases, Fours may
have had relatively "normal," uneventful childhoods. Nonetheless, even with a
supportive environment, they did not see themselves reflected in either parent:
they felt that their parents did not see them as they actually were or that
what their parents conveyed to them was somehow irrelevant. Lacking definitive
role models, Fours as children turned inward to their feelings and imaginations
as the primary sources of information about themselves from which they could
construct their identities.
From
childhood, Fours felt essentially alone in life. It seemed to them that, for some
reason they could not understand, their parents had rejected them, or at least,
that their parents did not take much interest in them. Fours therefore felt
that there must be something deeply wrong with them, that they were somehow
defective because their parents did not give them the kind of nurturing
attention which, as children, they needed. As a result, they turned to
themselves to discover who they are.
Self-knowledge became their most
important goal, the means by which they hoped to fit into the world. Fours felt
that if they could discover who they are, they would not feel so different from
others in the deep, essential way that they do. However, instead of creating
themselves through introspection, Fours ironically become trapped in self-consciousness.
Their self-consciousness alienates them, making them feel vulnerable and
arouses their aggressions at themselves and others, particularly their parents.
But because they also feel powerless to express their aggressions or to do
anything about their condition, they withdraw from their parents and from
others, turning their aggressions mostly against themselves.
Because
the formative relationship with their parents was primarily one of
disconnection, Fours also begin to develop a sense of ego identity based on
their difference from others. There
were few qualities in their parents that they identified with, so Fours began
to inventory all the things that they were not—all of the ways in which they
were unlike the people around them. Eventually, this sense of difference
becomes a strongly developed and defended part of their self-image and many
Fours have difficulty seeing the many ways in which they are like everyone
else. To be "ordinary" becomes a frightening prospect, since a sense of "being
unique" feels like one of the only stable building blocks of their identity.
Their
disconnect from their parents also produces a longing for the "good
parent"—the person who will see them as they truly are and validate the self
they are trying to construct. Fours usually experience this as a longing for an
ideal mate or partner. They will often project this role onto new
acquaintances, idealizing them and fantasizing about the wonderful life they
will have together. Unfortunately, as Fours get to know the person better, they
become disenchanted, realizing that the other is not the "good parent" who will
rescue them from all their problems. He or she is just another human being with
flaws and shortcomings. The other’s "blemishes" soon become the focus of the Four’s
attention, and they lose interest in the person. Before long they are back to
their search and fantasizing again, but generally with less hope of finding the
person "of their dreams."
Problems with Hostility and DespairLike
Twos and Threes, the other two personality types of the Feeling Triad, Fours
have a problem with hostility. They direct their hostility at themselves
because like the Twos and Threes, Fours have rejected their real self in favor
of an idealized self-image. However, because of their self-awareness, Fours are
always becoming conscious of all of the ways in which they are not like their idealized self. They come
to disdain many of their real qualities which they see as barriers to becoming
the self of their imagination. Angry with themselves for being defective, Fours
inhibit and punish themselves in the many ways which we will see.
Of
course, Fours also experience hostility toward others. They can become enraged
if others question or dismiss their self-image or moods, but they tend to
express this by "dropping" people, suddenly and without explanation. The
creativity of Fours can also be employed in sarcastic, withering remarks
directed at those who have wounded their "sensitivities." Fours also can
experience intense hostility at the very people they have idealized. When
others fail to live up to Fours’ hopes of the "good parent," they may relive
the original pain they felt at not being able to connect with their parents,
but project this onto the new love interest. They may dramatically express the
rage and emotionality that they could not with their own parents, but usually
withdraw quickly before the intensity of their feelings overwhelms them or does
further damage to their relationships. More often, Fours will simmer and seethe
in silence.
On a
deep, unconscious level Fours are hostile toward their parents because they
feel that their parents did not nurture them properly. Fours feel that they
were not welcomed into the world; they feel out of place, unwanted—and they
are deeply enraged at their parents for doing this to them. However, their rage
at their parents is so deep that Fours cannot allow themselves to express it.
They fear their own anger, and so withhold it, trying to come to terms with it
themselves.
As
awareness of their hostility and negative feelings gradually wears them out,
average to unhealthy Fours sink ever more deeply into self-doubt, depression,
and despair. They spend most of their time searching for the courage to go on
living despite the overwhelming sense that the essential flaw in themselves is
so deep that it cannot be healed. Indeed, the feeling of hopelessness is the
current against which they must constantly swim. And if the undertow of
hopelessness is too strong, unhealthy Fours either succumb to an emotional
breakdown, or commit suicide because they despair of ever breaking free of it.
As
soon as Fours devote themselves to a search for self by withdrawing from life,
they are going in the wrong direction. No matter how necessary this search may
seem to them, they must become convinced that the direct search for self is a
temptation which eventually leads to despair.
On the
other hand, what makes healthy Fours healthy is not that they have freed
themselves once and for all from the turbulence of their emotions, but that
they have found a way to ride that current to some further destination. Healthy
Fours have learned to sustain their identities without exclusive reference to
their feelings. By overcoming the temptation to withdraw from life to search
for themselves, they will not only save themselves from their own
destructiveness, they will be able to bring something beautiful and good into
existence. If they learn to live this way, Fours can be among the most
life-enhancing of the personality types bringing good out of evil, hope from
hopelessness, meaning from absurdity, and saving what appeared to be lost.
(from Personality Types, p. 135-143)
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