Enneagram Type Two (the Helper)
Enneagram Type Seven (the Enthusiast)
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
In many ways, both of these types can look alike. Both Enneagram Twos and Sevens can be outgoing, friendly, funny, high-energy people and very enjoyable company. They want others to be happy and to have a good time, and both types tend to interpret things (including setbacks) in a positive way—always looking for the silver lining or the blessing in a seeming disaster. Both types are engaging, spontaneous, and love the good things of life. In addition, Twos bring a depth of feeling and concern for the welfare of others into the mix. Twos admire the nerve and gusto with which Sevens plunge ahead in life, making everyday an unpredictable adventure. Sevens bring high energy, and a quick mind that sees possibilities and generates ideas faster than they can be acted on. There is a kind of mental electricity and excitement that Sevens generate—the aura of sheer possibility that Twos find intoxicating, not only for themselves but for those they want to share their excitement with. The Seven helps the Two to remember to do nice things for themselves on a regular basis. They remind Twos that if they are not taking care of their own health and fulfillment, they will not really be able to be helpful to others. On the other hand, healthy Sevens feel that their emotional and physical needs are largely met by a healthy Two. The Two helps the Seven feel relaxed and fulfilled, reducing the temptation to wander.
Further, both Twos and Sevens are idealistic, but Twos can more easily and consistently translate this impulse into altruistic action. This inspires the Seven who also enjoys sharing their abundance with others. Together, they can be remarkably generous and thoughtful as a couple. The Two and Seven combination can have a positive effect on people that is virtually unmatched by any other couple: they can be warm, welcoming and generous, making others feel loved and invited to the party.
Potential Trouble Spots or Issues
In time, Twos feel that they can never have enough intimacy and they usually try to find ways to be closer to the Seven. They like to stay at home, go on quiet walks together, cook, and talk about settling down and having a family. Sevens, on the other hand, generally find the idea of settling down and limiting their options to be no where nearly as attractive to them. Sevens are capable of long-term commitments, but they tend not to be eager to get into them. As a result of these signals, the Two may start to hover and become more intrusive, pulling in the reins on the Seven, insisting that they have more quality time together. Sevens can easily feel trapped by this maneuver, and they may begin to lose interest in the Two, feeling that the relationship has gone stale (rather than realizing their own anxiety over the potential closing of options). Twos will increasingly want to get serious about the relationship just as the Seven begins to feel bored or that the relationship has gotten heavy and unfulfilling. Twos can thus begin to see the Seven as untrustworthy, a playboy (or playgirl) who is selfishly leading them on with no intention of tying the knot. Sevens can begin to see Twos as possessive and manipulative, playing on their guilt or insecurities to make sure the Seven does not stray.
Further, Sevens need to be the center of attention as a way of staying energized and excited. Other people and their needs are not really the focus of their concern as much as they are an audience of potential playmates-if others can keep up with them and their fast pace. While making the Seven the center of attention generally suits Twos well for a while, Twos eventually begin to unconsciously feel used. They will either withhold their attention and affection, or start to compensate in other ways, such as by overeating or having real or imagined health problems as a way of forcing the Seven to pay attention to their needs. A stalemate occurs, and punctuated by conflicts, battles, and loud scenes.